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angie73 
I had a CT scan on friday, they said the clot is gone and I can get off the Coumadin. Now that I am gettng better I have thoughts that maybe I can have 1 drink. I know that if I do then it will be a daily thing and I don't want to risk everything for it. My health is improving and I just got the loan modification papers in the mail. It looks like I won't loose my house! I just get so frustrated with myself that I keep on thinking of drinking. Right before the stroke I didn't even like drinking anymore I just had the compulsion to drink. Now that everything is turning around I keep thinking of drinking. This time I have made up my mind that I won't-with God's help.
Since I had a stroke on April 4th I haven't drank. I am scared to death. I am still on leave of absence from work, so I have been going to alot of meetings. I have tried this before but this time I feel like I have to do it. No matter how frustrated I get because I have a hard time letting myself get to know people at the meetings, I have decided to keep going. I am learning alot and I don't know what else to do towards recovery. When I think about the fact that I can never drink again, it scares me. I have to take it one day at a time.
I don't think I'm an alcoholic, my theripist gives me this look like "are you kidding?" when I tell her that. I drink every night but I can stop. Everything that says if your an alcohlic says that they have an alllergic action to alcohol and can't stop. So if I get to say if I am one then I'm not. Right only I get to say if I am or not.
Comments
I went to an AA meeting and some of the things sounded familiar. But when people start talking about that once they start drinking they have no control, I am lost, then I think that I am not an alcoholic. I just have a drinking problem. I only drink a third to a half of a fifth a day, usually a third. From what I hear alcoholics cannot stop after they start drinking. I do need help to stop drinking though, I cant stop. I wake up in the morning and say I have to stop drinking, but the next night it is a stuggle. Every day it is a tug of war- to drink or not to drink- .
angie73
You sound exactly like me! I still am in doubt some days....I drank like a fish, but had no real BIG side effects...confused about it all too....everyone told me I was(therapist, counselor, best friend....)
graceelaine