lapetitemoi's Journal

So, as many of you know, I was baptised at Westside Church of Christ yesterday!

I wasn't sure it was going to happen, but on Sunday, the 26 April, I was re-born with an identity and life in Christ.  I was very nervous, of course, considering I had to go up in front of the entire congregation (around 450 people), and profess my commitment.  The pastor, Bobby, who I just love and admire so much, was the one who baptised me.  I wore a half-wetsuit sorta thing, and he just wore big water-proof pants (like when you go fishing) and boots.  And yet, afterwards, he gave me this big ol' hug, and got his nice church shirt all wet- but he totally didn't mind whatsoever.  As he told me later: "I like big ol' wet hugs like that, because I'm hugging a newborn Christian.  No hug is better than that!" :D

It was really amazing; typically, only my mother-in-law and I go to church together.  However, this time, my sister-in-law (she lives in Los Angeles, which is 2.5 hours south of us, with her husband), Kevin's great-aunt and cousin (both who are nearly house-bound and typically cannot make it to church), Kevin himself (he doesn't go to church typically, as he hasn't found faith despite being raised in the church), and my mother- and father-in-law were there to support me! Uhm, talk about WOW!  Not only that, but after I was baptised, so many people came up to me said "congratulations!" or "we're so proud of you!" or "welcome to our family!"  A lot of people were even hugging and kissing me with tears in their eyes.  So yeah, I am now a full-fledged member of the church, which feels good.  Easter was my one-year "anniversary" of attending Westside (or any church, for that matter), and what a coincidence, since that is the day that Jesus rose from the grave!  Also, like I said in previous journal entries, my 23rd birthday was 22 April, and I was baptised on the 26 April- two birthdays in a row!  ;)

So beforehand, I had to confirm my belief in God in front of the church.  I had to walk up to the front, to the pulpit, and it was so awesome because Kevin and Ki (my sister-in-law) walked up and sat with me in the front pew while I was waiting for Bobby to "announce" the baptism.  I told the congregation that "I do" accept the Lord Jesus Christ as the son of God and my Saviour, and then headed back to the baptismal room.  My mother-in-law Kathy was waiting for me there.  I got changed into the wet-suit outfit, and she just looked me in the eye and said how proud she really was of me, and gave me this huge hug.  She was all tearing up, as well as the lady (Sandy) who was helping us, who is part of my mother-in-law's church care group.  Then, Bobby called me up to the baptism pool (which was lukewarm, so not freezing cold! :P), and asked me if he could tell the congregation, in general, about my story.  He was very, very vague about it, but for those who know what I'm going through and have gone through, they got it.  He leaned me back, and then whoosh!  I was CLEANSED of my sins and past and transgressions and everything.  Weight gone, present and future awaiting me.  Though there are no papers to sign or contracts to be bound to, I am now an "official" child of God.  :)

Afterwards, all of us, including a couple of my in-laws' friends from the church (who typically celebrate any holiday with us), went out to lunch at Hodel's.  I had had a cigarette in the parking lot, so Kevin and I were late getting inside (everyone had already been seated, ordered their drinks, and then gotten up to get food from the buffet), so when I finally got inside, I looked at my place, and there was a huge present sitting there!  

Kathy got me such an amazing gift- not only had she shown her thoughtfulness and caring, but the actual physical presents were amazing!  Inside the gift bag was my own personal pink and black Bible, with my name and a little butterfly design embossed in silver on the cover.  That is especially meaningful for me/us, because Kathy has always said that I am like a butterfly; "And just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a beautiful butterfly."  (For Christmas, she even gave me a necklace that says that on it!)  Also, with the Bible came an adorable pink and purple plastic Bible carrying case...with cartoon butterflies on it too, of course!  Along with that came little sticky tabs, so I can mark each chapter in the Bible, making it easier to flip to a verse during church.  YES!  In the carrying case, I found a little wallet-sized bookmark card, that had a little poem about a butterfly soaring with new wings, in relation to a newborn Christian getting their "wings" after the re-birth (baptism), and it came with a little gold butterfly pin.

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This is what the poem says:

"Born Again"

Beautiful butterfly, joyfully free

No longer awkward or earthbound to be

The way it was changed

Tells what has happened to me

The image of the butterfly

Born again and made new

I accepted Jesus

Now I am born again too

The old me is gone

My spirit is new

The change that took place

I owe all to You

It didn't take long, an instant or so

You are with me Lord Jesus, wherever I go

The change was complete, now I am free

Made in His image, a follower I'll be

The story is not over,

the work incomplete

I have to tell others, whoever I meet

Accept the Lord Jesus, open your heart

Like the butterfly,

You will have a new start.

"I tell you solemnly, unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." (John 3:3)

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Amazing, eh?  Now, here comes the spooky "coincidental" part- when we all came in to church yesterday, the first song we sang was "This is the Day (That the Lord Has Made)."  Now, Kathy had no clue that we were going to sing that song the day before (Saturday), when she got the gifts/card to celebrate my baptism.  When I pulled the card out of the gift bag while at lunch, she had written "This is the day that the Lord has made!" really big on the back of the envelope!  Not only that, but she also gave me a beautiful wall cross for our home that says the same thing on it!  Lastly, she had stuck an inspirational pink and black bookmark that said "HOPE" on it into my new Bible. 

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She hadn't put it on any page intentionally, but it was turned to Psalm 41, which says:

"Blessed is he who has regard for the weak;
       the LORD delivers him in times of trouble.

  The LORD will protect him and preserve his life;
       he will bless him in the land
       and not surrender him to the desire of his foes.

  The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed
       and restore him from his bed of illness.

  I said, "O LORD, have mercy on me;
       heal me, for I have sinned against you."

  My enemies say of me in malice,
       "When will he die and his name perish?"

  Whenever one comes to see me,
       he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander;
       then he goes out and spreads it abroad.

  All my enemies whisper together against me;
       they imagine the worst for me, saying,

  "A vile disease has beset him;
       he will never get up from the place where he lies."

  Even my close friend, whom I trusted,
       he who shared my bread,
       has lifted up his heel against me.

  But you, O LORD, have mercy on me;
       raise me up, that I may repay them.

  I know that you are pleased with me,
       for my enemy does not triumph over me.

  In my integrity you uphold me
       and set me in your presence forever.

  Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel,
       from everlasting to everlasting.
       Amen and Amen."

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Uhm...WOW?!  There truly is a reason for everything, and I think that that verse was meant specifically for me to read at that moment, whether by "odd coincidence" or an act of God.

While I'm certainly not perfect, my LIFE has started.  I haven't purged for two days now, and everytime I feel tempted to, I remember just how precious I am to the One who created me!  I certainly don't expect everyone to agree with my beliefs and faith, but for those of you who do believe, remember this- You are the divine workmanship of God, who created for a purpose, in order to ultimiately fulfill a role here on Earth.  He doesn't expect you to be "perfect" according to other people, and He will alway see you as HIS PERFECT CHILD, no matter what happens or what you have done/experienced in the past (Ephesians 2:10, 1 Samuel 16:7)!

Kevin recorded my commitment and the baptism for Mala (littlemiss here on DS), since she couldn't be here with me in person, but I've posted the videos on my YouTube channel, if you want to check them out.

+Committing my Life to the Lord.

+Getting Baptised.

Anyway, that was my Sunday.  As of now, I am battling distorted feelings and thoughts, due to severe back pain.  Pain often leads me to restrict (due to pain-induced nausea) or purge (due to painful bloating).  It's limited me to hardly moving, and though I want to get up and do the laundry/dishes, I can hardly stand to just sit, let alone stand or bend up and down.  I wonder if any of you have any advice as to what can help?  (I've taken pain killers already, as well as a hot shower to loosen any tight muscles, but nothing has helped- it's in my mid- to upper-back area, especially under my shoulderblades, and I've been experiencing discomfort and pain for the last two weeks.  Today, it's just come to a head though, and it's the worst it's ever been.)  So, any home-remedy ideas to help ease the pain?  

Well, I'm off to go have a very late lunch.  One step in the right direction, eh?  ;)  I love you, guys!!!  Please take care of yourselves.  Really.  Because YOU are worth it!  :D