butterflyarden's Journal

I GOT APPROVED FOR MY BACK SURGERY I AM SO HAPPY ALL THIS WAITING PAID OFF. NOW I HAVE TO GO SEE AN OBGYN FOR A CYST ON MY OVARY AND I HAVE TO GO SEE AN ENDOCARNOLOST FOR MY PROLATIN LEVELS BEING ELIVATED . THEN I ALSO HAVE TO GO SEE A FOOT DOCTOR FOR SOME TROUBLES I AM HAVING WITH MY HEEL. YES YOU CAN SAY I AM ONE FUCK UP PERSON. BUT I KNOW THAT GOD WILL HANDLE ALL MY PROBLEMS AND I WILL BE FIX ONCE AGAIN. MAYBE AFTER ALL THIS WAITING TO HAVE A BABY JUST MAYBE WHEN I GO TO THE DOCTOR THAT I WILL GET SOME ANSWER AND WE CAN TAKE MEDS TO FIX MY BROKEN ASS. I HOPE THIS DOCTOR WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT . I STILL WANT TO HAVE A BABY REALLY BAD. AND I WANT ROBERT TO BE A DADDY AGAIN . OH I HOPE AND PRAY THINGS WORK OUT.

AS FOR ME A ROB ARE MARRIAGE WAS ON THE ROCKS FOR A LITTLE WHILE . I REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE NOT GOING TO MAKE IT. I WILL SO READY TO JUST GIVE UP. BUT SOMETHING ABOUT HIM JUST PULLS ME RIGHT BACK INTO LOVE WITH HIM. EVEN THOUGH I GET MAD AT HIM I CAN'T STAY MAD AT HIM FOR TO LONG. HE IS JUST TO DAMM CUTE. BUT HE CAN BE A PAIN IN MY ASS SOMETIMES AND A MEAN ONE AT THAT. I HAVE REALIZED WE HAVE A COMMUNICATION PROBLEM. NEITHER ONE OF US KNOW HOW TO TALK TO EACH OTHER WHEN WE HAVE A PROBLEM IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. STILL DON'T AGREE WITH WHAT HE IS DOING ON THIS SITE BUT I AM TRYING MY BEST TO LOOK PAST ALL THAT AND JUST MOVE ON. LIKE HE SAY IT MEANS NOTHING TO HIM IT'S JUST ENTERTAINMENT AND THAT IS IT. I GUESS I CAN HANDLE THAT WELL FOR KNOW I CAN. I AM NOT SURE WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS BUT I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT ME AND ROBERT WILL STAY TOGETHER UNTIL ONE OF US DIES OR WE GET RAPTURED. I DO LOVE ME SOME ROB AND I THINK NO MATTER WHAT HAPPEN I ALWAYS WILL. 

OTHER THEN THAT LIFE IS GOOD AND I AM HAPPY . FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I FEEL LIKE I AM GETTING SOME WHERE. I CAN'T WAIT TO HAVE MY BACK SURGERY SO I CAN GO BACK TO WORK AS A MEDICAL ASSISTANT. I HATE THIS TWICE A WEEK BULL SHIT AND THIS JOB SUCKS ASS. I HURT SO BAD AFTER I GET OFF BUT IT'S MONEY AND EVERY LITTLE BITE HELPS.  BUT BOY AM I GLAD THAT I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE . IT A DEAD END JOB THAT WILL NEVER GO ANY FURTHER THAN WHAT I AM DOING KNOW. THE ONLY THING I AM WORRIED ABOUT IS THE COMPANY IS GOING TO MOVING TO ARKANSA IN AUGUST OR SEPTEMBER AND WE ARE NO SURE IF ROB WILL EVEN HAVE A JOB . GOD I HOPE SO CAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE WILL DO THEN WE WILL BE SCREWED . AGAIN THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO LEAVE IN GODS HAND AND MY HUSBANDS HANDS TO WORK THIS OUT .

I AM SO GLAD FOR A VERY SPECIAL FRIEND ON HERE THAT HELPS ME TALK MY PROBLEMS OUT I JUST WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRL JENNY THANK YOU SO MUCH HUNNY FOR BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED SOMEONE THE MOST. YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON AND A SWEAT HEART . LOVE YOU