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TiredOfLivingInPain 
My life today is simple. I am having a glass of red wine & playing with the dog. My family has gone to the county fair. I have felt really bad this week, nothing seems to suit me. I had doctor's appts. 4 out of 5 days this week & I skipped 2 of them. Enough already. They are killing me. I am tired of the doctor & the needles & tired of everyone & everything. Even the dog is getting demanding & annoying. I am having a scrap swap with some of the ladies in my group & even something so small seems so big to me. I am so lonely & have no one who ever shows any concern for me. I make my life as is I suppose. I cannot help being sick, that is all I cannot help. Does that make any sense? We don't choose our families, we do choose if we act like them? We do choose our spouse, wether we stay or not also. Life hands us a lot sometimes. Maybe I should do more with my life. Stop whining but there is safety in whining, then I can dream & no one expects anything of me. I really would rather live alone, far away from anyone but my animals & myself, not be responsible. Sounds dreadful I know. I love my daughter but sometimes it is better if she stays somewhere else. She is such a demanding child when she is bored, gets that from me I know. Yesterday I met the new doctor, he was very nice, easy to understand, older gentleman. Gave me tons of samples & ordered tons more tests. Maybe he can help me. I pray so. Goodnight to me. Well wishes to me. Alone is very welcoming & darkness very welcome.
