LilyMaid's Journal

There are so many great and wonderful things that happened today and I would definately say at this point in my life this has been my favorite Independence Day yet.

After a really late night, Ophelia woke me really early on the 4th with a phone call. She was headed to get me at my sister's and while I got dressed and ready I thought about what today would bring. I was hoping for only good things and I'm very happy with the results. Ophelia and I drove to her town to pick up her boyfriend and his daughter before heading to some river out in the middle of the desert.

Before we got to her boyfriend's house we talked about the older termed friends of hers and everything (the living situation I was in with Rebecca, Odie and JJ). I didn't know if it would come up again but I thought that it might and that was part of my hope for the good day. Basically Rebecca has been lying to me all this time. According to everyone but her, her and I are no longer friends and I'm the bitch at fault for everything that went on that day. According to Rebecca, her and I are friends and there's no reason for me to feel bad about what happened (that it wasn't my fault). When 3 other people are giving me the same story and only one person out of four has a different story, I'm going to believe what everyone else is saying, especially since they haven't talked to me at the same time and are not all even friends. Just a two of them are friends.

Anyway, I told Ophelia that I was learning from this whole situation and how it affects my pride (either for the good or the bad). I said that there are two kinds of people in that kind of situation. There's the Reactor and the Reactee. I am the Reactor and Rebecca's the Reactee. I reacted badly to that whole situation and I will cop to what I did wrong. By reacting badly I gave Rebecca the *opportunity* to react badly as well. Now I use the word opportunity because whatever "set her off" it was still her choice to go off.

I said that in the case with my father I am the Reactee and he the Reactor. He goes off all of the time giving me the opportunity to either be the adult and ignore it or be the child and antagonize him. Most of the time I choose to antagonize him because I'm prideful and don't want to back down. So, the lesson is that I am responsible usually for setting off my father to the point of physical assault but it's his choice to take that next step and raise his hand to me.

Thus, with the case with Rebecca, with my father, with myself and with everyone on earth, we are responsible only for that of which we have done and for how we feel. Everyone has a choice in how they will react to any given situation and in how their life will be because of it.

Ophelia got all choked up when I was done with all of that and said, placing her hand on my knee, "That was beautiful, Marcy."

One we picked up Brett and Charolette and headed for the river, we didn't talk much, ate some and enjoyed our time there thoroughly. The water was perfect as was the sun/shade factors of the day. There was even a make shift loveseat for us to sit on once we put a sleeping bag and towel on it. There were watering holes that rose up to 11 ft deep and it was amazing how good the water felt on our somewhat warm bodies. After about 4 hours there we had to leave. We dropped Brett and Charolette back off at their home and headed out.

We stopped at KFC and ate some dinner. It was good to just sit still in there and eat. We still didn't talk too much and I was okay with that. We were perfectly at peace and in harmony with each other and the earth. When we got to my town, my sister wasn't home yet and so we headed to Sonic for some ice cream. Afterwards she dropped me off and I came in the house to take a shower. The hot water felt really good to wash over my dirty body and I sat still for just a second before having to get back up to do more.

My sister, family and I went to watch the fireworks. For both of my nieces it was a first time of sorts to see them and it was a touching moment to watch them with faces of awe looking at the sparkly, loud fireworks going off in the sky. Each of them fell asleep; one in my arms and another in my sister's arms.

We got back and packed some boxes. It's been a crazy and wonderful day and night. I don't have much time left on the computer though and so that is why I'm rushing everything else that I'm talking about.... from after Ophelia and I talked about everything and on. Maybe I can give more info later but I doubt I'll get around to it. So this is good night, finally at 2:40 a.m. on the 5th.