Weight has been lifted
August 27, 2009 3:07pm
I finally feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Through lots of therapy and talking, I can happily say I am proud to be …
kmue
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About Me
kmue
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About Me
I have 2 children, ages 21 and 17...recently divorced for a second time. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. My first husband was very physically abusive and the second was verbally abusive. Both have crushed my self-esteem to almost nill. I lost the one person in my life that meant the most (my mother) 2 1/2 yrs ago to breast cancer, at which point my life was turned upside down. My husband's anger at me got worse as I went through a major depression over losing my mother-- and he was more verbally abusive than ever. My divorce was just final 2 months ago and the anxiety and panic attacks have been steadily increasing to where they come out of the blue and take me completely by surprise. I have been dating a very nice man now for the past 5 months and he is a very passionate loving person. I have not really discussed my panic attacks with him but I do have a few friends I do call when I get an attack and they do help me through them. I talk to my daughter a lot too, as she suffers from PTSD from the abuse from her father so she can understand a lot of what I am feeling. My panic attacks seem to center around the concept of my health. When I feel my health is in danger, a panic attack comes on immediatley because I fear I am going to have cancer like my mother or a heart attack like my father who died when he was 32 and I was 3. I get completely frustrated with getting these attacks and my regular MD put me on Celexa and Xanax...they do help but I am still having these panic episodes. They have not stopped me from doing normal every day things but when they come on, I feel as though I am going to die right then and there. I have been doing a lot of research about anxiety and panic attacks and the reason I am so frustrated is because I "know" they can't hurt me but yet even though I know it in my mind, I can't stop them from coming on. Reasoning and common sense all go out the window, so to speak. I can't seem to get a handle on this and am hoping that by talking to others who also deal with anxiety and panic attacks, I will better be able to manage these episodes with a little more ease. I have not seen a Psychiatrist but I do see a counselor. I am starting to question if the doseage of Celexa is high enough for me or if there is a better med out there???? Any suggestions???????
I have 2 children, ages 21 and 17...recently divorced for a second time. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. My first husband was very physically abusive and the second was verbally abusive. Both have crushed my self-esteem to almost nill. I lost the one person in my life that meant the most (my mother) 2 1/2 yrs ago to breast cancer, at which point my life was turned upside down. My husband's anger at me got worse as I went through a major depression over losing my mother-- and he was more
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Interests
My children and spending time with them going out to eat. My puppy Gypsie and getting her involved in Pet Therapy in hospitals and Nursing homes. Working out at Curves My boyfriend and his children. Jewelry and shopping and shoes
My children and spending time with them going out to eat. My puppy Gypsie and getting her involved in
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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sad sad but true
May 12, 2009 6:33pm
This is a sad but true story of how my daughter BrooklynMarie, as you all know her as, has basically disowned me, moved clear across the country to …
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Journal Entry for August 1, 2007
August 1, 2007 3:46pm
I have 2 children, ages 21 and 17...recently divorced for a second time. I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety. My first husband was very …
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Hugbook
Rainbow
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en...
she got it deleted from her stunts but you can see it there and see she claimed she was a 28 yr old sd girl which is BS!-
Get Well Soon!
No proof no truth is what I say! Get a life and leave this site please and seek some real medical help. You need it. Leave your daughter whom has tried hard to be friendly and nice with you as people can see in your journal with her nice comments. Others know or have seen your abuse towards her and how you have been stalking her and her friends. Clearly from your hugs log too you can see people think nothing but that you should leave well enough alone which includes her. Also I told her to save the txt's and messages she gets from you from now on and seek a restraining order! Which means you worst mother of the year award winner will go to JAIL if you dont stop harassing her and her friends. Also you will get a 51/50 hold with some of the stuff you pull. They will clearly see what a whack job you are even on meds! Yes your meds clearly are not working, so maybe you should try others and one will make some common sense come on in your head! And report me I am not the one whom has been breaking rules on here and slandering others YOU HAVE. You even tried to contact me threw your caligirl19801 account. Your friends should go look at that and see how messed up you are if the mods haven't deleted it yet. If not it will serve great proof with the cops to show how insane you are!
Hug
yes i do know about bipolar and i also know about p.t.s.d well atleast i should seems as i have it! and i think that you missed my point when i said i have known her for 2 years i said i am bound to believe some one i have been speaking to for 2 years rather than someone that i have only spoke to once, and i am not prepared to get involved with your drama i have enough stuff to deal with myself, and do you think that she will take any notice of all your hurful comments that you are leaving in my hug book? i dont want to argue with you but if you are going to insist in using me as a go between and slagging off one of my friends then i will, AS I SAID BEFORE I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPEND BETWEEN YOU 2 AND I DONT WANT TO KNOW IT IS NONE OF MY BUISNESS , and you are saying that she needs help well so do you the way you are behaving going around leaving hurtful comments about your daughter i honestly dont understand how you can claim to love her and do that, i would never do that to somebody i cared about no matter what they have done or not done
and you say that you have ptsd then you should understand more than anybody else how she feels have you ever thought that something you do could be a trigger for her? anyways thats all i have to say on the matter i dont want to be involved in petty arguments i have better things to do-
Hug
im sorry but i think that you need to stop sending messages to all of brooklynmaries friends and me, i have been speaking to her for 2 years now and i find her to be very nice and supportive shes always been there for me and has been honest with me, i dont know whats gone on between you 2 and i dont want to know its none of my buisness!! and i dont need the drama its childish if you have issues discuss them with her or go and see a proffesional because what you are doing now by sending messages to all of her friends is getting you know where, just think about it who am i most likely going to believe someone i have never spoke to or the person that has been there for me, and i wont be passing any messages on if you have something to say tell her yourself im not a go between
Hug
WHERE HAVE you been?!!?!?!!?
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Support Groups
Close Anxiety
I am dealing w/ major anxiety and panic attacks. I rely on friends and family to help me talk through them when I get them. I am trying distraction techniques and sometimes they work but most often don't when I am in the middle of a bad panic attack. I am hoping to talk w/others who are dealing w/ anxiety and panic attacks to maybe give me some ideas that have worked for them. I am a great listener so if anyone feels the need to share, I promise I will write back! Thanks all! kmue
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
- slow deep diaphramatic breaths
- Celexa Working / Worked
- currently at low dose but have appt w/ psychiatrist to see of it needs to be increased for the panic attacks
Close Panic Attacks
major panic attacks over health issues seem to be getting to me. Talk therapy w/ rational thinking people when I am in the middle of an attacks helps me the most. Xanax seems to work for me as well. I'd love to hear other people's suggestions what worked for them
Treatments
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- except not during the actual panic attack
- Celexa Working / Worked
- I am on a low dose, think it needs to be upped
Open Codependency
I've been co-dependant through 2 marraiges that both ended in divorce. Both men were abusive, one physically the other verbally. Both have crushed my self esteem to almost nil. Always seem to have this incessant need to "fix things" which I don't understand about myself since I know it is not the right thing to do. Chaos seems normal to me, which is a sad sad thing....but I am working on getting over that. I don't want to be codependant anymore.
Treatments
