Nevaeh811's Journal

Well, i never thought i would make it so far in this pregnancy. Our ultrasound yesterday showed a HEALTHY boy moving all over the place! After the tech got all the pics and measurements she needed i asked about the gender. my fiance didn't want to know, so she typed it up on the screen while he looked away. well after she left the room, he decided he couldn't wait so i told him. as terrible as it sounds, i couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. here i am, in a place where millions of women would love to be....being told that my baby is healthy. and knowing we did it without fertility treatments of even trying for that matter. it's just that the first thing i thought about was how i always longed for a little girl. one that i could dress adorable, and braid her hair. my fiance felt the same way about wanting a girl. with our personailities that we have, i strongly believe still, that we would do much better at raising a girl. but what's done is done, and i've learned to be happy. i actually had tears in my eyes that i strongly tried to hold in. i felt terrible. how could i cry bc we're having a boy and not a girl! i felt so selfish, but the feeling was so natural; i couldn't help it. i still don't know what im doing with little boys. i pretty much hate sports. i danced my whole life, and wanted my girl to do the same. that's about as sporty as i got. this is going to be an experience for us for sure. my dream was always to have a girl. particularly first...i never pictured me with a boy my entire life.

but me and my mom went shopping yesterday and bought some adorable outfits. i had so much fun and there were some good sales at carter's! so i was happy! this baby is going to be loved the same no doubt. whether he's wearing a dress or a jersey. hehe...hope not the dress...but i just have to keep reminding myself that HE'S healthy. and it makes choosing names so much easier now that i know the gender. i love my little boy and i'm so happy:)