dark despair
May 20, 2008 8:43pm
She feels the world falling down around her, she feels that no one is there & that she is falling, she’s falling into the deepest darkest …
paininsilence
10:21pm, August 24, 2008
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About Me
paininsilence
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About Me
I'm a single mom to a 5 year old girl. I also have another daughter that lived for only 40 1/2 hrs. She was born at 24 weeks gestation and was too small to survive. I also miscarried a set of twins at 10 weeks. I've been sexually, mentally, & physically abused throughout different times in my life. By a high school bf, and then my ex husband. My high school bf tried to kill me in front of my best friend, if it wasn't for her and her dad i dunno if i'd be alive right now, he tried to stab me with a knife. Not that long ago, under her dad's care, my daughter was molested by his best friend and her dad doesn't believe her. Also trying to fight for full custody, and he only gets surpervised visits because of the mental abuse and physically abuse he's put me through. Also the mental abuse that he put her through. I suffer from depression and PTSD from all the abuse in my life. My ex husband hasn't given us any support financially since the day I left. He has told me its my problem because i chose to leave. He's also threatened to kidnap my daughter or "take her away" from me permenantly just so i can't have her. He has bipolar and schizophrenia, he has a severe form of bipolar, constantly trying to kill himself, no matter who is around, even my daughter. He's very paranoid, that everyone is out to get him, it was too much to handle. Then he twisted my arm on the night of my grandma's funeral because i wouldn't have sex with him.
I'm a single mom to a 5 year old girl. I also have another daughter that lived for only 40 1/2 hrs. She was born at 24 weeks gestation and was too small to survive. I also miscarried a set of twins at 10 weeks. I've been sexually, mentally, & physically abused throughout different times in my life. By a high school bf, and then my ex husband. My high school bf tried to kill me in front of my best friend, if it wasn't for her and her dad i dunno if i'd be alive right now, he tried to stab me with
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Interests
Don't have much time for interests anymore! trying to be a support for my daughter, all the court hearings trying to prosecute the guy that touched her, and also fighting for full custody. I'm also going to school on the weekends to become a dental assistant. i'm trying to make a life for us. Also i am substitute teaching.
Don't have much time for interests anymore! trying to be a support for my daughter, all the court hearings
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Journal
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i give up
March 4, 2008 10:03pm
How is it that you can go from having a positive outlook and ready to get life going and head in the right direction & then in the blink of an …
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This entry is private
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Hugbook
Prayer
sorry for your loss
Hug
A New Support Group For Abuse Survivors http://dailystrength.org/groups/su...
Hug
I havent been around in a while. Big changes. moved to wichita a month ago with my ex who is now my best friend and roomate.
I’m With You
Hi! I would like to invite you to join the Laughter Club and Missing Persons groups. Hope to see you there. Have a super day!
Hug
HAPPY EASTER!!
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Photos
paininsilence hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Rape
I was raped the first time when I was 13 and it has effected my life and Im realizing I really need to deal with it and I don't know how. I was also raped again when I was 22 & I was 4 months pg with my daughter at the time. I was too scared the first time to turn the guy in and the 2nd time i didn't because I didn't want to go through a trial while pg because I have issues with being able to stay pg as it is.
Treatments
- Rape Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- I went to counseling, was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Only thing they did was counseling, said anti depressents werent' for me.
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionMy depression started from the cruelity of my peers, then I have had a lot of bad things happen to me and now i'm trying to start my life over and overcome this mountain
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I have experienced a lot of bad experiences in life and it has taken a toll on me and I was diagnosed a year ago with PTSD.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Childmy daughter died after only living for 40 hrs, august 1999. Both of my grandmothers died within 4 1/2 months in 2006
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- Remembering Somewhat Helpful
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
Open Child Support & Custody
my ex husband doesn't pay child support, i'm also currently fighting him on that and take his rights because of the physical and mental abuse towards my daughter and towards me
Open Sexual Abuse
I've been sexually abused, but i'm joining this because my daughter was recently molested
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I was physcially & mentally abused by my bf in H.school. Also physically & mentally abused by my now ex husband. I've also been raped twice. Just trying to find a way to heal
Treatments
- Divorce Too Soon to Tell
- Now i'm also trying to take his rights away because of how violent he is
- Forgiveness Considering
- Trying to forgive but not sure how
- Leave Working / Worked
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
Open Parenting Preschoolers (3-5)
i have a 4 yr old daughter. she's the light of my life. She's in preschool this year
Treatments
- 1-2-3 Magic Working / Worked
- Attachment Parenting Working / Worked
- Child Time-out Working / Worked
- Education (School) Working / Worked
- Patience Working / Worked
- Positive Reinforcement Working / Worked
Open Miscarriage
i miscarried twins april 2001
Open Personality Disorders
Type: Dependent Personality Disorderjust told yesterday by my psychiatrist that she has officially diagnosed me with dependent personailty. so now its time to start the process of defeating it!
Treatments
- Talking Considering
