I've been bad for the last …
I've been bad for the last year thinking I should enjoy what little life I have left, it's hard to change your …
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dinz 
11:04pm, November 3, 2009
fear is the motivating afactor, trish thinks when my teams lose im afraid of the reaction from the of the opposing team fans in my state.. i dont root for the home teams except for one
because i have been a fan of my other teams, and when i know i have to face the music , i end up getting disapointed, i have been in therapy for years from my childhood, but havent dug deep enough to get to the shit.. when my negative emotions take over, i get flustered and dont know what to do.. EMOTIONS ARE SO HARD TO DISCERN.. ENERGY IN MOTION.. i still have alot of stuuf to , trish is one of the most incredible women, that loves me unconditionally, never met someone that loves me like that.. i had myself all upset, blood pressure up, and not good for the heart.. i grew up ina rageful home when my mom got sick, she didnt think any of us kids understand her illness, and as a child i hid the bottles, i was being the good boy.. seeing my dad try and flush my mothers head in the toilet.. im glad im venting, i have a twin that suffered too, and my sister thought everything was right.. my dad was a foreign entity to me, a puzzle.. no higing or shows of affection, but im the complete opposite,
i have to journalmore and get this stuff out..
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keep journaling....... we are all here for you Jim......... it's not about the team..... it's about not having control... I'm sorry you're feeling so bad...... but T will be there for you, she will ....... and you'll get through this........... just keep talking about it and venting when you need to...... just let it all out............ biggest hugs and love xxxxxxxx Gaye
lacrossemom
yeah , get it out. I wud ask Trish to bring a mirror so u cud actually see urself get into a rage...maybe that wud help?
Maybe if you didnt watch the game and just peeped at the scores from time to time, ud better be able to control your rage....
That's just a thought....
Get a punching bag...u can work out while you watch ur games and vent at the same time.
2ndChancer
It's good to get things out that you are holding in. I know from my childhood. On the inside looking in it was good but on the inside lookong out wasn't. I took me along time to even talk about it. I finally opened up to my husband when I was 25. I'm know almost 44. The best thing to do is get it out. I also think getting a punching bag whil watching the game will help. Hang in there!!! Hugs Peach
peachbutterfly
Dinz, what is going on here. You need to vent keep writing journals if that helps. A punching bag is a great idea or just use a good pillow but don't use trish as your punching bag verbally or physically. She is a good thing and is ther for you. Do some deep breathing. If games get you that worked up then maybe you just can't watch them and need only to catch the scores or read about it. I love chocolate and regular coffee but because cafeine triggers my panic or anxiety I had to change my food I eat and drink. So you may have to change a few things till you get it worked out. Well, were all here to help so keep leting it out. Hugs
stitch
Good for you,this is progress.Keep on working on yourself.Love yourself, be good to yourself.Compassion for yourself and others is the key.
overtherainbow
Keep up the journaling! That's what I've been doing with all of my negative emotions and although it doesn't provide an answer, it still helps just to get the crap out from time to time. Hope all is well!
guitarhead26