Journal

Well, I haven't been on in a long time! I sometimes go on and read a couple discussions and then off I go. Well, my updates: After receiving a letter saying I was approved for the next 3 years for long term disability I got a denial letter. My doctors notes did not state that I was "totally disabled" and they thought I had fibro before I started working for my last employer. My ex husband also let me know that he would have to lower my child support payments because his pay has been restructured and he would only be receiving his commission checks every 6 months.

I moved in with my nephew who is 2 years my junior, he also has fibro. So...my rent is down to $500 dollars a month plus electric. It will be a great help since I will only be getting $1000 a month. So my break down is:   $500 rent

                                              $100 electric

                                              $300 car payment

                                              $100 Car  and renters insurance

                                              $100 cell phone for myself and daughter

Opps!!!!!!! just went over budget, guess we won't be eating!!!!!!!

I get so depressed sometimes that I just can't take it, today is one of them. My daughter is at her friends and I am just hiding out upstairs with my puppy and cats. Still missing my, I guess, ex-boyfriend that was deported 2 years ago (lawyers fault, long story). At least I am living with a very wonderful nephew that understands what I am going through. He just broke up with his wife, that's just before I moved in to help him out with his mtg. He is so kind, easy going, understanding. He became a minister and has an on line school for theology. He has 3 children, 1 estranged son, and 2 identical twin daughters that failed to call him on his birthday. He is going through alot also.

Well, enough complaining. .........

Well, here I am again finally. All of my recent tests came back negative. Thank God no cancer. I just got approved for long term disability and got my back pay. I do not have to worry about how to feed my daughter or go to the food shelf!!!! Yes!!!!! Since I now have 3 months pay in one I am going to open a savings account for emergencies.

Pain was really good this week up until yesterday. I am having bad leg, hip and ankle pain. My gp does not want to run additional tests on me and my pain doc doesn't do that, just treats me for the fibro and I don't take any pain meds, refuse to. I am wondering if I should see a neurologist to see if I can get more tests ran to outrule other diagnosis's. I went to an unfriendly non-fibro believing rheumatologist in the past and don't want to go through that again. I had my ana levels show a positive in the past and now that my potassium and bun/creatin levels are high and I am wondering if I may have lupus and it is starting to effect my kidneys. I really don't want to wait until they fail to find out.

I just swept my kitchen floor and ran the swiffer wet jet through the middle of the kitchen floor and put the clean dishes away. My daughter is going to help me with the laundry when she is finished reading her book. I am going to reward her with a movie tomorrow. It will be nice to have some time with her outside of the house with her. I think I am going to go out and look for a table lamp and some sandles tomorrow also.

Time to get dressed and sort the laundry....

Hi all! I never write in my journal so thought that I should.  This is what my recent couple weeks have been like:

I have had quite a bit of pain, probably 8 or 9 daily. I had an annual physical and a mammogram 2 weeks ago. The mammogram showed something so I had to go back in for a special view and an ultrasound. Thank god it was only a couple of cysts, I have fibrocystic breasts. But you know how we all jump to conclusions. I also had a colonoscopy because of my IBS. I had 10 polyps and a couple "looked precancerous" so I am waiting for the pathology report still for that. I have also been getting all my dental work done while I have insurance that will cover my two bridges and a crown 100%. It is horrid to sit in the dental chair for 2 or more hours with your mouth wide open, I have never really had the jaw or facial pain until now. I also went to the optometrist and I am getting new glasses. I feel like I haven't had a free day in a long time. I am so sick of doctors.

Oh, also I have been going to the chirpractor weekly and got a notice that it is not covered by my insurance co after my doctor told me it did.

I had not received a short term disability check since the end of December and have been trying to live on the child support that I get for my 14 year old daughter Monique. I finally got a check yesterday for January. Thank god because I can now get at least my car payment caught up so it doesn't get reposessed. I had been trying like crazy to contact someone from Lincoln Financial which has been paying me. Well I got a call today that my short term disability ended as of February 6 and they are started to compile information to see if I am eligible for long term disability. They will send me paperwork to complete as well as request all of my medical records. They will also help me "if my long term disability is approved" apply for social security and they have lawyers to help me do this. I pray to God that this process goes smoothly and they qualify me for the long term. I know that Social security is a long process to get approved and also pray I have the strength to emotionally and physically handle this journey.

If you all are working please all of you make sure you purchase long term disability insurance through your employer. You have to have the insurance for a year before you are eligible to collect. Also, tell all of your friends this because this might be the only thing that saves my butt until I can hopefully get the social security disability.

Well, it is 1:45 and I haven't even gotten dressed today. I have been on the phone most of the day. I have to at least go out into this cold windy Minnesota day and get cat food. I just got another phone call! Well, better go take my shower and head out so I can be home when my daughter gets home from school.