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Hope808 
OK, so I haven't been on DS in over a year. I felt as though I had made so much enormous progress. I was creating all of the appropriate boundaries with my ex, was content with my life - focused on my career and my kids...progressing with my doctoral coursework...all seemed good. I would've even said that I was perfectly content being alone...and that wasn't entirely disingenuous.
Then I had a brief fling with a colleague...terribly inappropriate because he is engaged and I soooooo know better than that...but despite all efforts to the contrary, I actually developed some feelings for the guy. And worse than that, it tore down the delusional walls that insisted I preferred being alone.
Now, I feel full flung into my old co-dependent ways...wanting to control and manipulate the world around me...completely NOT trusting that the universe will bring good things my way...totally obsessing over why he isn't obsessing over me. :)
And hoping that the path to intimacy doesn't absolutely require the online and/or blind dating process because I think I would rather be alone than deal with that awkwardness.
I'm feeling lonely and sad...and the tunnel appears dark again.
Sucky, sucky, sucky!
Comments
Hope! So so good to see you again, although Im sorry you find yourself taking a step back. Look at it as a step FORWARD! We are all human..you live and you learn..progress not perfection. I can identify with and know exactly how you are feeling, know you are never alone. Be gentle with yourself and take good care of you!
Namaste01
Welcome back Hope! I find it very interesting that many of us from the old days have found our way back here at this time! All around the same time frames. Who would have thought? Stay strong girl! We're all here for you. Beth
Coping
Yea, Beth...I guess it goes to show that the healing process - like life itself - is cyclical. :)
Hope808