So, here I am. I just joined a …
So, here I am. I just joined a support group to help me quit smoking. What should I write about? This is the same a …
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Consumed 
7:58am, June 9, 2009
Hello My Lovelies!!
I hope you are doing well, and today is a good day.
Steve and I had an amazing first anniversary! We stayed on Folly Beach for 2 days and then recorded a ton of new tracks for our album with Mike!
My world and mindset of distorted body image was completely rocked by my husband as we lay on the beach!
Steve and I have been talking about really getting into shape, especially now, that we are thinking of starting to try for babies. Steve has gained about 15 pounds since we have been together, and his doctor told him that if he loses it, his acid reflux will ease up, plus he is not happy with the way he feels and looks...
So.....we were scoping people out on the beach, and picking people with rockin bodies comparable to ours, once we have done the tighten up... =)
It took awhile for us to find any women that Steve found attractive, and of course I was picking out the skinniest ones, etc....Steve kept saying the ones I was picking had the bodies of 12 year old boys, and he did not find that attractive in the least..
I of course, was like, wtf is wrong with you, she is amazing...blah blah blah...
Finally, Steve says..."Look at the girl in the red bathing suit"...she was a bit far, but I could see her shape and such...Angels, at this point I FREAKED out!! I was like BABE!! She is thick and her thighs are huge...and all of this other C R A P that was coming out of my mouth!!!
My husband continued to argue with me, until I suggested we walk over to get a closer look...and wouldn't you know it....She wasn't fat, or thickly at all...curvaceous, tight, toned and confident, she was indeed....
It took me only a little while to have this major AH HA moment, when I realized that my husband is attracted to a woman, and NOT a bag of bones!! A woman with all of her curves, and imperfections, that actually takes time and stock in herself and her body...That takes the time to love and nurture herself, and makes the effort to be healthy and the best she could be...And THAT is what I want to radiate!!
I know Angels, that this game Steve and I played, could have been dangerous and extremely detremental, but it turns out my system and the universe knew I was ready for this....
Just like that...in a moment...I wasn't afraid anymore...I know that I have put in a lot of work over these years, and it finally shifted....It was one of the most incredible moments I have ever experienced...Thank You Babe...
So here I am, in this place of being super excited of becoming the best and healthiest woman I can, in body, mind and spirit...
Oh, and I haven't had a ciggie in 10 days!! wOOt!!
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I am so happy you and Steve have decided to buff up! You will not regret it!
Just remember to start slowly so you don't either get too sore or burn out.
You have a devoted loyal Husband who is a true man in every sense of the word. He would would through fire for you, so you better be good to him!
Who needs ciggies! You will feel so much better!!!!
I am so very happy for you. Rock ON!
beiceth
WOOT thats great to hear, this journal makes me so happy to hear what he said, he is right, its about being the healthy person you are, not everyone should be stick thin or whatever. I am glad it didnt go bad with what he was doing and I know now what you meant about how things came clear on your mind. you are doing really good. keep up the good work...You are of course Mrs Ella Incredible. xxx
ShazzerInc
WOW. I am so encouraged by this journal! Isn't it just SO nice to learn that it's OK, even ATTRACTIVE to look like a W-O-M-A-N and not a 12 yr. old boy? Thick is not "bad!"
Thank you for sharing this. I have a thicker frame myself and this was just so encouraging! I am so happy for you, darlin'!
debiwebby
Wow.. That is amazing... You really hit it on the nail.. What we are really doing is trying to please others, and not the ones that mean the most.. My husband is exactly the same... He does not like skinny boney woman, he likes a healthy, toned body.. There is nothing more attractive than a woman who takes care of herself, and takes pride in herself... You have come along way, and I am so excited for you... This journal was an inspiration, and thank you for sharing this..
You will never walk alone..
xoxo
ldyjane
I love those "ah ha" moments! Weird but my husband and I are kind of opposite like that. When I see someone attractive he thinks she has a big butt or something. He's stopped saying it though since we had our counselling at my treatment center. I just loved this journal. xoxo
peanutzz
Thanks for sharing your incredible story! I just kept saying "Yes!!!" You are so lucky to be married to a man who truly loves you and cares about your well being and his too. Gofrit! Strong and healthy is more desirable than skinny and fearful.
rflp
healthy healthy healthy!!! if u dont have ur health u dont have anything...or thats at least what ive been told!
missyS
Congratulations on your anniversary oh and the no smoking too that's great. Really pleased you are becoming the woman you want to and for yourself too xxxxx
RavensaraH
I LOVE IT!!!!!!
lastvice
All of this sounds so positive! I'm glad things are going so well. Congrats on the 10 days without smoking. Keep going!
clutter