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CasualFriday 
7:04am, November 13, 2008
Well, the past few days haven't been great. I've been rapid cycling. One minute, I'm bouncing off the walls and giggling, the next I'm lying in bed crying my eyes out. So today I have an evaluation at a mental hospital to see if I should be admitted, just for a few days, just to get sorted out. I'd be home by Sunday, I'm sure.'
Okay, I"m not goinig to the hospital after all... mom talked me out of it. I dunno. I think maybe I need to go get evaluated, but like... she puts all this guilt on me. I don't really know what to do right now. I think I'll be okay in a few more days, but.... Like... I dunno.
Here's basically what she said
'If you drop out of college this semester and they don't give us a loan next semester, then you can forget about college for awhile, but if you need to go to the hospital, then that's what you should do.' Then she started talking about how if she has to start taking time off work to deal with me, she might lose her job.
...so I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Comments
Ok sweetie, I'm just gunna say what I have to say because I kinda feel strongly about this.
I think that you should do what feels right. Your instinct told you to go, so go. All these things are unimportant when it comes to you. You deserve the right to get treatment/help when you need it and you certainly don't need someone (whoever they are) to give you grief about it.
Sure, I can understand where your Mom is coming from but do not whatsoever let yourself be guilted out from doing whats right for you - by anyone.
You're not there to be 'dealt' with. You have an illness and sometimes you just have to take a breather which is not wrong.
Love n roller squishes
xx
dollyB
if you feel like you are a danger to yourself i think you should go..but id like to offer a theory myself..when you quit smoking, the dopamine levels in your brain change dramatically. this can cause a pretty deep depression, especially if you are already prone to it. (like me) your brain chemistry is still trying to even itself back out..and if you already had some issues to begin with (im sorry, im not aware if you do or not) it can really cause havoc. so definitely keep an eye on those emotions. mine have started to even out and i feel a lot better now that i am past the 60 day mark. there is a very real reason as to why you are experiencing this and make sure you tell your doc you quit smoking so they can adjust meds accordingly. you deserve to feel GOOD..not sad or hopeless while stuck on a roller coaster. so do what feels right...
lovemy2