Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 …
Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 year old married to my high school sweetheart and have two beautiful little girls. I …
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Lynr 
11:59am, November 10, 2009
Dear all,
Aside from dealing with the daily issues of chronic pain from lupus and back pain, I got hit with a huge misfortune yesterday...one of my boys ( basically a former foster son) passed away Monday night from complications of years of medication trauma to his body. He was bi-ploar and struggled wiith the medication coctail that they had him on (serequel, depekote, lithium, adderall) and to cope with the tremendous emotional issues he began self medicating with street drugs and alcohol which of course we know do not mix:( This all took a toll on his body...he was in a serious car accident two months ago and because his blood alcohol level was so high they would only give him ibubrofen. He was mad and left the hospital AMA. The aren't sure if he had internal injuries and hadn't had the chance to find them or the overuse of the ibuprofen ate a hole in his stomach causing him to bleed internally. Long story short, he had been slowly bleeding to death for the past two months and they found him near dead Saturday morning. He was on life support for the two days until they determined that there wasn't brain activity and pulled the plug Monday afternoon and he passed Monday night. My poor little boy, was so proud to have become a daddy himself to an adorable little boy just over a year ago. We lay him to rest tomorrow- he's my guardian angel now...rest in peace Markie, I will carry you with me always!
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Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can't control, letting go of people- watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences. Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have love may sadden us, but it also provides us with opportunities for growth we hadn't imagined. These experiences push us beyond our former selves to deeper understanding of ourselves and others.
So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer. Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrentches us emotionally, stretches us to new heights. Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper. Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it.
What ever unfinshed business that you had left Mark, He will help you with it. Rest now and know that we all loved you!
Lynr
Well said, Lynr. I am not ashamed of anything I have done in the past because either I didn't know any better at the time, or I placed myself in a state of denial. I learned something valuable every time. To hang on to regrets is to put a roadblock in the way of any path to enlightenment. The saddest thing to me is to watch an elderly person die while still clutching their resentments and regrets. Letting go takes a conscious effort, but it gets easier the more I do it. How could I appreciate what I have without first not having it? I admire you for the way you have handled this tragedy.
tirebiter888