thatwpgguy's Journal

Merry Christmas Everybody

It has been a long time since my last journal entry. I've been busy with all the legal and finacial arrangements that I had to take care of. Now most of that is taken care of, all I have left is some minor clean-up to do.

It seems like I am very stress and tired lately. I suppose this being the first Christmas without my wife is weighing heavily on me. I sometimes catch myself thinking that she is still alive in the nursing home and all I have to do is pick her up and bring her home for Chritsmas. I don't know how I will feel during this season to be honest. Christmas was always a special time for me, but this year it is just another day to me so far. Friends send cards and invite me over for dinner, but I don't really know what to say about how I feel. I don't want to ruin their Christmas but I know how I am feeling is on their minds also.

 My memory seems to be hit and miss most of the time. I seem to of forgotten so much from the past little while but every now and then I get a flashback of memory. I try to hold onto all the good times that pop into my head, almost like trying to hold onto smoke.

 I know I will be fine and that things will improve, however I am still a lost, confused and lonely person trying to find answers to questions I still don't know how to ask.