Journal Entry for August 1, 2009
August 1, 2009 1:45am
WOW...I still have an account!!!! Iv just noticed tonight....how much crap iv bin through in the past few years! I think its safe to say....iv come a …
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IWannaBeBetter
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About Me
IWannaBeBetter
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About Me
As of JULY 2009 Going through divorce...yeah it dint last long! I'm stil in WI, I have a rewarding job LOVIN IT! My daughter is growin upo fast! My health seems a smidge better but I hit rough patches but iv come to the point of sayin "lifes road has a lot pot holes and sometimes ya just gota hitem" ------------- I'm 26and I have suffered from lost my 3rd job in a row and exboyfriends ex wife made missery among us when i was with him I went by ambulance w/ a severe anxiety attack, emotional breakdown, thought I was going to die, I was admitted to mental health from ER, 3 days there, therapy since, but I am still sick.As of Jan 26 2007 I have been dumped by my long term 3yrs BF for a woman that was a friend of both of ours, and I am suffering severly and very lonely. I can't figure out whats wrong with me and all the bad things that happen in my life. WHY ME???? As of march 1, tomorrow will be 1 WONDERFUL week I have been dating a new BF, he is 39 but doesn't look like it he is verry inlove with me already but I am with him also, I have not felt so special in a very long time, I am going to PT, from a car accident this past Nov. and I am still in therapy trying to keep that up with 1x every week or two, I am still in school and eager for the semester to be over in May, I think I will be able to work by then, I will be doing a garden and my own business boat cleaning around the marinas in the towns surrounding they bay. I am still having trouble with my 4 1/2 year old daughter, but everyday I would never wish any different, I am on march 7 going to court to proceed full/sole legal custody and hope to win that, ny daughter deserves that! I will still give her father chances to visitation but I want him to follow my rules of raising my child since he has choosen to not participate 99.9% of her life. I am living with a married couple they are about 59 or so, the woman has fibromialgia and has undiagnost MYSTERY ILLNESS sort of like me, we relate medicaally verry well, they are wonderful to live with, he runs a business out of home, and I am there (you would say)in home aid, I do housekeeping and will sometime be helping him in the office which will give me back ground to work experience, I do all of this in exchange for rent, it works out very nice, and I get to live in a beutiful home out in the country on 15 acres where my dog and child, even myself caan roam! I hope that things stay as well off as they have been lately for hoping the rest of my life if not get even better, I have an attorney from my car accident and I am hoping that in the end I come out with an amount that I deserve, esxpecially for the pain and suffering that I have had and am still conquering. I can only dream of the day where my life will have absolutly no problems and run smoothly....I MARRIED as of Oct 13th!!!!
As of JULY 2009 Going through divorce...yeah it dint last long! I'm stil in WI, I have a rewarding job LOVIN IT! My daughter is growin upo fast! My health seems a smidge better but I hit rough patches but iv come to the point of sayin "lifes road has a lot pot holes and sometimes ya just gota hitem" ------------- I'm 26and I have suffered from lost my 3rd job in a row and exboyfriends ex wife made missery among us when i was with him I went by ambulance w/ a severe anxiety attack, emotional breakdown,
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Interests
artist, fishing hunting 4 wheeling being in the woods creating, riding in the outdoors camping fishing out on the lake superior where I live beeing with my daughter and freinds and family, I love to be out in my area taking in the scenery. I like the country, and I love the smell of the fresh air. I like playing with my dog, some times I go out and let loose with the friends, I love country music, when I go out I sing kareokee, other wise I am also interested in trying the best I can to be a happy person and living my life with disorders and learning about them so I can cope.
artist, fishing hunting 4 wheeling being in the woods creating, riding in the outdoors camping fishing
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Journal
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better
March 18, 2008 12:14pm
im doin better now! i got a job and thats y i havnt been on for a long time. im not sick anymore!!!!! i quit taking some meds that were makin me very …
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Journal Entry for December 4, 2007
December 4, 2007 4:25pm
so... Im here AGAIN- ive been pretty bad sonce my last journal entry! I cant stand being deppressed i should be haveing a good ol time in life now i …
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Journal Entry for August 22, 2007
August 22, 2007 1:58pm
Im not on that much any more i try to get the hugs out there but since im in pain again alot lately i dont spend alot of time on the net. But I …
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Journal Entry for July 20, 2007
July 20, 2007 2:04pm
Im doin better today I finally got to get on the net. Ive been taking the week off cuz my back has been hurtin some and cant over due my self. …
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Hugbook
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Please help us find the missing people - click here: http://dailystrength.org/groups/mi...
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Please help us find the missing people - click here: http://dailystrenghth.org/groups/m...
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Sending you some love sweetie..hope you're doing well!! Miss you!!!!! Let me know how you're doing.....hugs!!! xxxxxxx
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Hug
Hope you're doing well, and if there's anything that I can do for you, please let me know..... :o))) I keep going through this as well.....hope to be your support system hun!!! Hope you have a GREAT day!!
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I am sorry to hear about your relapses sweetie...if there is anything that I can do for you to help you through it, def. let me know...I am here for you!!!!! Luv ya lots...xoxoxo
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Panic Attacks
I have panic disorder which underlies anxiety disorder, I have one about every 1/2 hr - 1hr. I have lived this was for about 6 years, recently (last 2 years) they are worse. I take alot of meds, they don't always work. I have to take top doeses of meds for them to work. I have extreme attaks everynow and then. More frequently because of mood cycle disorder.
Treatments
- Paxil Not Working
- used but no out come
- Xanax Working / Worked
- I want to have it again on hand it was a fast release. It works well.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- im on 200mgs, this doesn't do anything anymore.
- Belivon Somewhat Helpful
- I go 1x a week, I like to go but I feel the need to go more.
- Restasis Working / Worked
- this is a longer lasting. It works but doesn't work long enough.
Close Bipolar Disorder
Recently Diagnost, in july I had spent some time in mental health, evaluation came to this Mood Cycle Disorder - Bipolar II
Treatments
- Temesta Working / Worked
- AS OF NOW, I really think it's damn good , I like my thereapist and the good thing besides teaching me, he isn't on my back,but on my side about my disorders!
- Raptiva Working / Worked
- it really calms me down when I first took it I would zonk out, but I have hi tolerance to meds. Lately I have some halusanations since begining of oct. They have gotten worse.
Open Back Pain
Scoliosis, I have had since 9yrs old, Chiropractic care helped groing up, low income now and no help. I am in allot of pain.
Treatments
- Focalin Working / Worked
- does absolutly natta!
- Bentyl Working / Worked
- this helped when I was going but very exspensive.
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- This was great but my MA only gave me 12 sestions. therapist faught and they still wouldn't give anymore sestions.
Open Medical Mysteries
Im martha I have all sorts of pain but they can't figure it out, from chirocare, PT, Home rems, painkillers, singnificant others messages, it all worked but not for long, I either can't afford it or if it's free they don't wanna do it. My back from scoliosis, my joints partially displace, numbness or horrific stabbing stiking pain comes and goes everyday of my life for the last 5 years, every test,X-ray all normal. But why me why such pain I am only 25 and this started as I was 20. You are not alone.
Treatments
- Chiropractic Adjustment Working / Worked
- worked for short periods, but not available to me because of finacial probs.
- Physical Therapy Working / Worked
- I loved it, but med care would'nt allot any more than 12 sestions just as I was able to go 3 days or more with out horrific pain.
- Heat Working / Worked
- Just a soothment until the water gets WARM!
- Relaxation Working / Worked
- Works but it doesn't help get anything accomplished and it cramps me up and or dislocates a joint or adds another pain some where even numbness from sitting or laying rest.
Open Breakups & Divorce
I was involuntarily resigned from being the girlfriend of joe for the past3 years, I have now lost the battle of holding on to him and his children, his parents and I don't get along anymore since I got out of the hospital (on my Profile), and he says that he can't do it anymore, I love him so much and when I tell my friends about him - they say that I woirked to hard to keep our relationshio togather and I did way too much for him and he didn't give back. Last friday about 3:30 pm it was over I then brought my daughter the my rents house (where I live) and said I am going to the hospital I need you to watch her, I took off addmitted my self and decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH GO HOME BE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER and that what I did, I called all my friends and they all relize that I am having a hard time and I feel better because I know that they are still "There for me when I need them" I have pretty special friends but can't help the fact that I still love and cherish the man that I was with for 3 yrs - And he ends it just like that - Merry x-mas here is your gifts a Watch and a break up!!!As of Jan 26 2007 I have been dumped by my BF for a woman that was a friend of both of us. Martha
Treatments
- Love Working / Worked
- From friends is my PLUS right now
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- see for medication
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- They are there when I need them anytime
