MandyG's Journal

Well, as I've said before, I have a problem getting myself motivated.  I'm noticing that I've only improved slightly, but it's just not good enough.  I really need to get myself up to take care of myself, the house, and others.  I don't know why I have so much trouble wanting to just get up and DO anything.  I guess that's something I just really need to work on with myself.

I've also noticed, with the weight gain, that I'm once again having a negative relationship with food.  I'm having thoughts like I did when I was fighting my eating disorder (ED).  So, I'm worried I'm going to fall back into an ED and honestly, I don't know what else to do.  I've always had problems actually losing weight in a healthy fashion...

Also, I got a job! It will help a lot since I'm having financial problems and also, now I can help my boyfriend with taking care of some of the bills.  I mean, we do live in the same house so... it's only fair I help out with the finances.  Oh yeah, I work at Macy's.  I start training today, so I'm only slightly nervous, but I know since it's training, any mistakes I make won't destroy me.

I've been keeping up with my meds lately, and noticed I haven't been so utterly depressed.  I'm gonna keep that going.  I really need to journal more and also set up more counseling.  I've been neglecting that...