Join Now
jennamaria 
I finished my classes this week, although I still have a ton of homework to turn in to a few instructors over the next few weeks.
At least I have the time to breath.
At least I have the time to breath.
Comments
I hate the world made for thin people.
I feel like another species, outside the realm of normalcy. I can't buy the clothes I want, because I don't look good in them.
I can't eat what I want, because I get judgmental glances.
I feel like I'm everyone's dirty little secret. "Yeah, we like her and all...but..."
"You have -such- a pretty face..."
"You really -are- pretty..."
"You're so...cute..."
"Have you lost weight? You're looking great!"
...did I look so horrible before? Were you forced to behold me? Do I still look horrible, just not AS horrible?
If everyone had to be fat for one week -- the world would change.
You've no idea the heartbreak when you say to yourself that you're just outside the realm of acceptable...
...every narrow waistline I see,
Makes me hate myself a little more.
Why can't I just be -normal-?
I feel like another species, outside the realm of normalcy. I can't buy the clothes I want, because I don't look good in them.
I can't eat what I want, because I get judgmental glances.
I feel like I'm everyone's dirty little secret. "Yeah, we like her and all...but..."
"You have -such- a pretty face..."
"You really -are- pretty..."
"You're so...cute..."
"Have you lost weight? You're looking great!"
...did I look so horrible before? Were you forced to behold me? Do I still look horrible, just not AS horrible?
If everyone had to be fat for one week -- the world would change.
You've no idea the heartbreak when you say to yourself that you're just outside the realm of acceptable...
...every narrow waistline I see,
Makes me hate myself a little more.
Why can't I just be -normal-?
Comments
-
You're around the wrong people; people in this world are so rude and un-caring. I was raised to see people as God sees them; to get to know them for who they are and not judge them for what they look like. I have always made this my policy when making friends. It shouldn't matter how you look when someone sees you; it should matter who you are and how much of that reflects on your outter "orah". A woman can have a perfect body but have the uglist soul you've ever seen. Think about this when people are looking at you, trying to judge you by the way you look. They may be hot, pretty, or look "perfect" but if they are thinking to judge you then think about how much "UGLY" is on their insides :)
-
"Normal" is a relative term. Try not to look at weight as the only measure of that. I am sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. I truly hope that you find support on the site and hopefully connect with others that are struggling with the issue of feeling as though they don't fit in. Hang in there and keep sharing your story with us. I am certain that there are many people out here who will want to reach out to you.
-
define normal.. anyways, you shouldn't care what others think as long as you're comfortable with in your own skin (i know it's easier said than done) i dont want to sound "plastic" but there are alot of curvey women out there who are also famous, and they're famous for being big and curvy.. look at missy elliot, j-lo, beyonce, oprah, marylin monroe, etc. you dont have to be a stick figure to be good looking.. infact, what most of my guy friends tell me is they dont really like very boney women, so i dont really understand why the media insists on feeding images of unhealthy skinny women and calling it "beautiful".. anyways, hope that helps
It was such a good day today. But all first days are.
I usually feel great for about a week - and I stick with all of the good habits I want to continue, and then I give up after about a week and fall right back into my slovenly ways.
I know it is because I have self-worth issues. Sometimes I wish that just -knowing- the roots of problems were enough to pull them out.
It seems like I'm constantly admiting things like, "Oh, yeah - I'm overweight so that I have an excuse to tell myself when people don't like me. I can call them shallow and then its their fault, not mine."
But, then I don't actually deal with it.
Like "Oh yeah, I totally keep up great habits for a few days and then it all falls apart because I'm lethargic and don't think that I'm worth keeping it up."
Hell, maybe it's just because I'm lethargic and I'm adding that self-worth to make it sound justified?
...who knows? Either way, great day. I only hope that I can keep going every day to make it a great day.
Every day can be a great day, if I just wake up with the same enthusiastic I woke up with this morning.
I usually feel great for about a week - and I stick with all of the good habits I want to continue, and then I give up after about a week and fall right back into my slovenly ways.
I know it is because I have self-worth issues. Sometimes I wish that just -knowing- the roots of problems were enough to pull them out.
It seems like I'm constantly admiting things like, "Oh, yeah - I'm overweight so that I have an excuse to tell myself when people don't like me. I can call them shallow and then its their fault, not mine."
But, then I don't actually deal with it.
Like "Oh yeah, I totally keep up great habits for a few days and then it all falls apart because I'm lethargic and don't think that I'm worth keeping it up."
Hell, maybe it's just because I'm lethargic and I'm adding that self-worth to make it sound justified?
...who knows? Either way, great day. I only hope that I can keep going every day to make it a great day.
Every day can be a great day, if I just wake up with the same enthusiastic I woke up with this morning.
Comments
-
hey hun.. try not to think too much of nxt week and just try to enjoy this week.. i know it's easier said than done but try to take a deep breath, put one foot infront of the other and just take things one step at a time.. u dont have to do everything start small like fixing your sleeping and attending your classes and slowly work your way up.. you'll find in no time that you're doin just fine if u just relax a little.. and i'm here for you if u ever wanna talk.. for now, keep up the good work :)
Past Entries
| October 2006 |
Tuesday, 10/10
|
|
Tuesday, 10/10
|
|
Tuesday, 10/10
|
yay! u should hug yourself on the back for gettin thru the week.. see? wasnt too bad! have a great weekend, try to do something fun or relaxing or atleast find a way to reward urself for gettin thru the first week, take a deep breath, then start on your homework.. take care hun and keep up the good work!
Verra Lynn