Today BS
January 29, 2009 6:23pm
Today I am just in a zone it seems. I spent my grocery money on heroin yesterday and now feel really bad about it. I mean we have plenty of food and …
mamalove
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About Me
mamalove
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About Me
I am a very lonely, depressed, mother of 3 children, who are the only people I ever get to talk to.LOl. I feel like the world has left me behind.I try to hold myself up for my children, but its really hard being a stay at home mom with no time to myself at all. My hubby is no help, he only complains about not getting any, which is bull.He is a perve. I was molested as a child and have self esteem issues. I get crazy mean thoughts at times, not sure why, they just pop in my head.Probably drug damage.
I am a very lonely, depressed, mother of 3 children, who are the only people I ever get to talk to.LOl. I feel like the world has left me behind.I try to hold myself up for my children, but its really hard being a stay at home mom with no time to myself at all. My hubby is no help, he only complains about not getting any, which is bull.He is a perve. I was molested as a child and have self esteem issues. I get crazy mean thoughts at times, not sure why, they just pop in my head.Probably drug damage.
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Interests
No time for any of my own.I would love to go out on the town, dress up a bit, hang out with the girls.
No time for any of my own.I would love to go out on the town, dress up a bit, hang out with the girls.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Year update
January 27, 2009 10:25am
Ok,I have not been on here in almost a year, and what a year it has been. I have had a few affairs, started drinking again,had a perverted father in …
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Journal Entry for April 19, 2008
April 19, 2008 9:02am
I have not been on here in a bit,but realize the need to get back into it. I am still pretty much in the same situation,but I am not so frantic about …
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Journal Entry for August 20, 2007
August 20, 2007 9:11am
i always try to figure out why I think the way I do. I wonder if ohers have the weight of these feelings on them,or do they just deal with them and …
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Journal Entry for July 20, 2007
July 20, 2007 6:26pm
How do i make new friends when I am here all the time? My children are good,but go crazy if I answer the phone or tey to talk to anyone else. My …
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Hugbook
Flower
wow, were very alike you and i huh? heroin, abuse, sounnds like you might have o.c.d., you seem very nice, you have kids, abused as a child, molested as a child... we can become great freinds i think. joey.
Hug
hi. :) we are online if you wanted to chat
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Hug
saw you were feeling horrible. hope you feel better soon. =]
Hug
You are not alone, so don't suffer alone.
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Hug
HI from Hopewell, VA!
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI am just really sad.lonely,and my self esteem is non existent
Close Heroin Addiction & Recovery
I have been on some form of drug since i was 11-12 years old. I have done almost every drug. I have just gotten off oxycontin that was prescibed,and am on methadone and valium. I still want drugs noe and then,actually just did some crank a few weeks ago,and feel guilty.
Treatments
- Residential Treatment Center Working / Worked
- I was cured when my insurance ran out! It was a miracle.NOT!
- Methadone Somewhat Helpful
- I will be fine and then all of a sudden I will crave drugs,usually coke,even though I hate coke now,after the second hit.Its just easiest for me to get.
Open Ovarian Cancer
my mother has ovarian cancer,starting chemo next week. she is very scared,as am I.
Treatments
- Chemotherapy Too Soon to Tell
Open Parenting Preschoolers (3-5)
I have 3 children. One who is a 3 yr. old terror,lol.
Open Breakups & Divorce
my hubby is a prick,I am only with him because have no where to go. He cheated on me at least 2 times,but i have heard of more.
Treatments
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- only offer kind words for myself and children.
Open ADHD / ADD
I cant stop thinking about anythingI think all the time and flip my thoughts like crazy.I was once in a full conversation with 5 people at one time over different topics and held up my end just fine.I idnt notice until this guy pointed it out to me,lol.
Treatments
- Adderall Working / Worked
- # weeks on and i think I need a way stronger dose.I only take it in the morning but when the evenincomes and I am coming off I get bitchy.
Open Cocaine Addiction & Recovery
I ahve done cke for15-17 years off and on,I hate it after I do it,but feel so powerless if I see a line,I am gonna do it,I hate it!
Treatments
- Distancing Working / Worked
- trying to stay away from,but it is always creeping around close to home.
Open Chronic Pain
I have degenerative disc and have serious back pain. I have been on pain meds(legal and illegal) for the past 4 years.
Treatments
- Flexeril Working / Worked
- didnt do anything,
- Heat Working / Worked
- helps for a bit.
- Methadone Working / Worked
- Helped me to get off oxycontin, but not on it now.
- Morphine Working / Worked
- I am now on opana, which is oxy-morphone?? it is supposed to be 2 times stronger than oxycontin, but I am not feeling it at all. I want to be back on oxycontin.
- Oxycodone Working / Worked
- percocet,worked at first but my tolerance is off the charts.
- Carisoprodol Working / Worked
- I do not notice anything.
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Groups
