Join Now
ETinNY 
I actually had a decent weekend. Went to CT with my son and his fiance to meet her parents and go to the Big E fair. Talked to my husband a few times but always short and nothing about where we are going. Felt pretty good overall and I am trying to accept the fact that I have ZERO control over our marriage right now since I want to give it all I have and he is undecided. I do have control over me. I am trying to stay busy and not dwell on what I can't control which has been very hard. I want to know NOW. The weekend was ok for that but now that I'm back home, alone in our house, with all the memories in my face, I am starting to waiver a little. My heart is heavy and I wish there was something I could do to make this better. I hope that when I talk to him this evening I will be able to control my emotions and stay on safe subjects. It is so hard to talk to him right now. I feel like I'm talking to someone I barely know and have to pretend that everything is ok. Not sure how long this phase will go on. I am trying to keep faith that it will all work out but even that is becoming difficult. Maybe a leap of faith is in order.
