Michelle2's Journal

Today is one of my ODD days... I keep thinking of Kierstyn and how much I miss her- Wonder what she would look more like today? Imagine her having cute pig tails and a cute dress on- running around with a smile on her face...

Really-

Why have we all lost a child- ?? I would like to know the answer to that question..

Why do we have to go though so much pain in one life time??

Why do so many woman take so many things for granted??

Why can't I fix everything that goes wrong??

- It does help that her lil brother, Darrin looks like her twin which helps me day to day but there are those question that race in my head of the what if's I did this or that.....

I want this feeling to go away- I am fighting to be happy more often..

It made my day today when I heard Brett in his room saying Mommy, Mommy , I up , I up... ( from his nap of course) so I picked up Darrin from the living room and then walked into Brett's room and put baby Darrin in Brett's crib next to him and Brett was so sweet and was trying to give Darrin his binky and cover Darrin with his blanket.... I couldn't help but wonder while I was watch Brett give his brother a kiss what Kierstyn would of done.. If she would of did that same thing or something sweeter ??

I know Kierstyn is watching over her lil brothers as I am very thankful that I have my lil guys but it would be wonderful to have Kierstyn, Brett and baby Darrin running around enjoying playing with each other....

Well "I guess" that is what dreams are for...

xxxooooxxx