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grammylorrie 
12:51pm, September 24, 2009
I wasn't going to write on my journal but I looked and realized I haven't written for 2 months! Not much new with me except last week I finally got my little Kaiden's ashes! I am so happy to get them. I would go and sit outside the house that the fire was at to talk to Heather & Kaiden at least a couple times a month. People are living there now and I was worried they would see me sitting across the street, watching the house, and balling my eyes out. Now I can sit and talk to Kaiden in my own home and I know when I talk to him, his mom will also know I am talking to her. I was suppose to start a women's depression group on Wednesday but because my son was sick and couldn't watch my grandson for me, I didn't get to go. I was so upset! I was scared to start but yet anxious because I wanted to get some of my feelings out. I called and told them I would definately be there next Wednesday. It is every Wednesday from 1:30 - 3:00 pm. I hope everyone here is well and doing fine. I think of all my DS friends often even if I don't come on as much as I use to. You are all my dear friends and I don't know where I would be without each and every one of you. Don't give up on me. I keep saying I will be here more often but I just am too lazy to come and write much. I love you all and please, keep in touch with me. Each of you play a very important part in my life. God Bless and take care!
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be more patient
Progress 10%
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be a better friend!
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Tomorrow will be 2 years since I became a member of DS! I can't believe it's been that long! I would not have made it if not for my dear friends here. I know I can turn to my DS friends when I need help. So many of you have made such a difference in my life. You will never realize how much! Friday I am having surgery to remove the lump in my breast. I am pretty nervous about this. I will never admit this to my family and friends here. It will take several days for the biopsy results to come back. My mother and my grandmother both had breast cancer. My mother had breast cancer which spread to her liver and that's what she passed from. We didn't even know she had liver cancer until 1 week before she died. I thank God that she went so quickly. It was only 1 week that I knew she was dying but I never left her side from the day I found out until the day she passed. I sat next to her bed and held her hand and talked and cryed to her. She went into a coma about the 3rd day after finding out. We got a hospital bed and had hospise nurses to come to take care of her. We put the bed in front of her sliding glass doors which faced the lake. She loved to sit on the deck and watch the sunset. I miss her so much! I guess I am reminiscing because on the 9th of July it has been 10 years since she left. I do know one thing, after she passed I realized that I was not afraid to die because I knew she would be the one to come to me and help me find my way. Now I know there will be two other angels in Heaven with her and that is Heather & Kaiden. It may sound weird but I really can't wait until the day I get to meet up with them again. I would never commit suicide. I tried that 3x's when I was in my late 20's but now I know that it is a sin to commit suicide. I am going to end this now with asking for each of you to say a prayer for me on Friday. Thank you all for being here for me. I love each and every one of you. God Bless
UPDATED GOALS
be more patient
Progress 5%
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be a better friend!
Progress 5%
Encouragements: 0
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Saying my prayers for you as always. God watch over you and keep you healthy.
You are a good friend hun. We all at DS are with you every step of the way on this.
Big hugs,
Love your friend,
Janette
To all my dear friends-I will catch up with each and every one of you within a few days. Right now, I am just feeling very depressed as usual. Tomorrow is 10 years since I lost my mother and today I found out that I will be having surgery on the 17th because of a lump in my breast that the surgeon wants to remove and biopsy. It has been growing and she thinks the best thing is to get it out and get the biopsy. My mother and my grandmother had breast cancer. Please send your prayers my way. I am scared. Thank you and I love and miss each and every one of you. You don't realize how important you are to me. God Bless
Comments
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Will be praying for you Lorrie. Dont worry hun. Even if it is the worst which I have a feeling it is not. Look at Olivia Newton John she had breast cancer and is 15 years now cancer free! They have come so much further than in your mother and grandmothers day on treating this. Be positive it will be ok and try not to worry. ~I know easier said than done but do try. When we worry we just hurt our body by the very act of worrying! You are doing the right thing to get it biopsied. Be sure and get a Mammogram each year also. I your breast tissue is dense they may need to do an ultra sound in the future to.
Big hugs, light and love and healing sent your way,
janette
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Praying that all turns out to be nothing. Like Janette said, they have come a long way. The most important thing is to get it out and taken care of. Remember you have many angels surrounding you to help you through this. Try to do some things to keep your mind busy while you are waiting. Start a project you have been putting off. Take up a new hobby you have always wanted to try. Take care of you . Peace and blessings Honey.
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Gods with us in our trails, you can beat this,prayers for you sweetie,love bluebird
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Keeping you in my prayers.
Past Entries
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I keep a picture of James in my car and I talk to him everyday. I'm always telling him how much I love him and miss him. I hope he hears me.
ckdeedee
we have responsibilities n life & can not always b or feel up 2 being on line. thank God u now have Kaiden's ashes with u. thanking God 4 r continued healing. i truly believe that God uses the people here on DS 2 speak uplifting & encouraging words. ones who know, understand, & remember the same thing that we r going through. Giving us uplifting & encouraging words. Jesus said He came 2 mend the broken hearted. i truly believe that my hardest times has been my best times with Him. hugs & lol, bess
Bess2