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Juice 
2:34pm Friday
Well, I've been quiet! Stupid, stupid fingers. Still, it's my own fault. The garden looks fabulous, but my fingers look like sausages lol!
1 week, 1 day no booze, and I feel so much better. I didn't realise how much harm I was doing myself mentally until I stopped.
I know Ben has to go back to school because it's a fear he HAS to conquer. I think 7 months of relentless trying has taken it out of the both of us, but now his CPN and Psych have come up with another plan, and his CPN is going to take him in to school, which takes a lot of the strain off me.
Jonny's radishes are growing;he's so excited! He was laughing with comlete abandon when he saw them, it was such a lovely thing to see and hear. He has decided not to wash the day before country dancing so Nathaniel won't want to touch his hands. Nice plan.
The boys' bunker is now 1.4 metres deep and wide enough to fit all four of them in. They have a pigeon-hole, a ladder, and a canopy, and the best thing is, I can't see a bit of it from the house! It kept them busy for hours. Dan got very short of breath with all the digging, so ended up lying on the trampoline directing operations. I think his voice is breaking.
I have started drinking sparkling elderflower to keep my weight stable. I realised when my newest bra got too big within a week I had to do something. I'm also eating two meals a day now most days, rather than just one in the evening when everyone was watching so I had to. I haven't lost any more.
So things are generally looking up! I am slowly sewing more stuff for School, thanks to my fabulous sewing machine. My life is all about juggling at the moment, and practised jugglers manage to keep a balance, never dropping the balls!! That's what I must do.
Comments
Excellent update, other than the aches and pains we adults get all too frequently. Nice progress with no alcohol. You go girl!
NewView
Juice if you ever drop the balls your friends are here and will pick them up and you can continue on.Meanwhile theres some balls I would like to juggle JIMS thats if I can find him whilst I was on the trampoline I saw him arm in arm with SGK whats she got that I havent LMAO
J0KEYJ
And what a juggling act you do perform, and with sore sausage fingers! I'm glad you're able to type today, and even happier to hear you're not losing weight OR DRINKING! Way to go, Juice, it's all about finding that fine balance...being STABLE in all the areas of life, yet still having the desire to progress and improve. Now, when you're having a bad day, at least you can go look at your garden and be reminded of the beauty of life and the hard work it takes to get it the way you want it. TAKE CARE! XoOXx
Slimpics
I was really happy to read this journal and see that you are doing better! I can tell just by the way you write! You are finding more joy in life and that is awesome! When I stopped drinkin the booze it helped me loads and I havent drank in almost 3 yrs! I wasnt actually an alcoholic but I was going that way so I am glad I stopped. Stay away from that shit! Im glad you are eating more! Just take it slow and take each step one by one! Love ya!
sera20
JokeyJ said it well. So you drop the occasional ball. The ball can fuck itself. Sorry, been in a mood lately. You sound really together right now. That's great to hear. Take care of my Juicy.
clutter
Sometimes I feel like that circus guy with the plates on a long stick, you know. Spinning them and running over to the other ones before they fall. Sometimes life is just a juggling act. Must feel good to have a clear head? Proud of you. XOXO
Gabrador
Im glad that things are better and way to go without the "booze" :) better be careful with those sausage fingers J.... lol
love ya.
AnjelSeekingPeace
You sound great! Keep up the good work!
beiceth
You should be very proud of yourself... keep it up
48gem
I bet the garden looks nice. cleaned my fish pond over the weekend and man do I hurt.. glad to here your eating better. love ya..
meandthebeast