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I see so many people lost in a bottle. I have a brother who has 5 kids, no job, no sense of responsibility, has other people paying his bills and feeding his kids, and he drinks hard liquor all the time. THAT I SEE AS A PROBLEM. I have a cousin, who once he opens that first beer his entire personality changes for the bad.. that I SEE AS A PROBLEM!
Me, I like to have a few beers in the evenings to unwind from the day. I like to play outside with the girls or read a book, or talk on the phone.. not DRUNK!!, but drinking ..
I don't like to get drunk. So i don't. I just like to relax for a while. I am the type of person, I cannot sit still unless I am drinking a beer. I am fun loving, but just always busy busy, can't relax. Too much to do. And I don't know how to fix it. Sure, I could go get meds from the doc, but why? I am not breaking any laws, I do not put my children in danger. I don't turn into some vile, sloppy, drunk.
My issue is strictly a spiritual one. Raised southern baptist, am now church of God. Actually in between churches at the moment due to a pastoral change. I've read all the things the Bible has to say.. do not be a drunkard, do not become drunk with wine, hell is full of drunks. And I see the first 2 examples in this entry as being drunks. I don't see me as one. I know people who drink so much they pee on themselves and slur and act crazy. I do none of those things. They get drunk and wanna fite and holler at and mistreat kids, bordering on abuse. I do none of those things. I just enjoy having a few beers with my husband in the evenings.
So why this unease???
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I understand. For me I used the practice of pointing my finger at those who had worse alcohol use than mine to avoid looking at mine. It sounds like if relaxation is the issue, there are many ways including exercise, yoga, meditation, doing artwork or other hobbies. I hope you find the path you are meant to be on.
The thing is when we drink our judgement is impaired. Over the legal limit to drink alcohol and drive? That's probably intoxication. Only you can say if it is something you are not comfortable with, no matter any one else's issues with alcohol, it does not remove yours, if indeed you feel you have one. You are not writing to justify other behaviors, just the drinking.
For me I don't believe my connection to God is strengthened when I drink. I believe I am a better person when I am sober as long as I am using the tools of my recovery program to have a spiritual awakening by living clean.
Loved1