Join Now
moodyashell 
my vision is blurry and i cant remember things without thinking hard for them. i reach for words and pull back the wrong one, then i forget what i was talking about. i feel crazy. i feel like its only a matter of time before i cant function normally, but then just as quickly my brain repremands me."stop exaggerating" it says. "you're hiding behind a "disorder" and you should be able to keep it together by yourself" it adds. of course the voice is loud enough that it seems to be the only option. that this voice is out to make me second guess myself and doubt my abilities makes me feel like i have to be vigilant all the time to try and be sure about what i want. and then i open that goddamn medicine cabinet every morning and greet a million orange bottles and wonder; is the voice right? and then i carry the weight of that question around with me all day all week all year, until i dont even hear it anymore. i just feel the heaviness. i need to be clearer to run my life but i cant do it without the meds that make me shakey and weird and dizzy. life is freakin hilarious.
