Journal

Can you change your Drs and find a new one who may put you on better treatment? some times we need to change Drs to get a new approach to our health and healing, Lol J

Sweets, seriously see a Rheumatologist, they are the ones that can really figure out whats wrong with your body. Because we are having similar pains and my rheum dr is the only one that was able start figuring out what was really going wroing in my body after 3 yrs of seeing different specialists and having emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder. I know your pain sweets and I wish I could take it away from you. Just hang inthere and know that Im always here for u and u can call me anytime! I'm praying for ya and know that everything is going to be alright with you, just keep the faith and stay strong. Big hugs! Rachel

Sidney,
Im not judging you. However I want you to know that there are people who do care about you and your well being. I care deeply for you. I respect your honesty but I also want you to have some inner peace. I will always pray for you and hope you get strong and feel peace mind, body and spirit.
Niecy.

My foot arch is collapsing and inflamed along the bone.Everyday seems like a bad day for me but i still pray.your in my prayers.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

hi ya.i know exactly where you are coming from with the pain buisness.for the last month i have had no rest bite from pain either.its so hard to live this life of pain when your friends and family dont understand what you are going through.it seems the docs just dont wanna know as long as its not happening to them.i am always here if you ever need a friend to vent to.take care now hugssss

I've had aches and pains in my time but I have to admire you for coping the way you do. Thank you for keeping us posted.

Considering you are in so much pain ,constantly ,you are a truly wonderful friend..
I`m so grateful to have you in my corner ,when the going gets tough ,just always know that i`m here for you too.
Continuous pain ,24/7 ,is soo debilitating..do ask your dr about seeing a reumatologist My sweet friend ,i`m sure you`d get alot more answers ,and solutions than you seem to be now.
Thinking of you ,and keeping you in my prayers...I too have chronic earache/headache etc at the moment ,and feel awful..
Hope with some rest that this will ease up for you.....much love and gentle hugs...sharon xoxoxo

WOW, sid im so sorry about hte pain you feel I always tell you it will get better I agree money is spent on cops and commericalism but you cant let it affect your well being sweetie, thats why prayer works! Yes money needs to be on education and medical, but the government dont care! but thats life 4 you. I hope u get better, we need ya on DS to be strong. Take care! Much hugs**

all i can say is wow! and sorry your in pain. boy nobody hatesyou!!!! why would anybody hate you!!!!!!! don't be a hater brother to people cause your in pain. iam sorry you got to go through what you go through, and i wish God heals you soon! keep your head up, love you my brother., i never knew someone would say so many f words in one journal entry, you will laugh what i said later.

I shall pray for you .i havent been doing to well myself been in a lot of physical and emotional pain.I will pray for you that god takes away your pain and gives you peace of mind.God Bless You.

Hey boo,
I see someones in alotta pain...hmmm.
Well I'm glad that you are letting it out. To answer your statement involving the good people never getting a break, well it seems like that on the surface. We are facing powers and principalities that we just can't fight alone without the Hand of God to guide us. As far as saying 'Why Me', Im gonna tell ya a lil story about my Grandaddy.
My Grandaddy will ALWAYS be a true HERO in my eyes.
He traveled the world THREE times and spoke to each person he ever met throughout his journeys at-least twice. He served his country when his country hated him simply for the beautiful skin in which he lived. Not only did he fight for our country, he had to fight we fellow soldiers who thought less of him even-though they were fighting the same battle. He never let it get to him. He believed a change would come one day. Things would be easier for his Granchildren. He took care of my Granmama. She never worked a day in her life. Imagine that. A Lady of Color not working or scrubbing floors during those times. He took care of his four kids, and left the Military after over 20 years of service. He didn't retire. He worked for the city of San Diego for nearly another 20 years until he was diagnosed with Colon Cancer.
Thing that brings tears to my eyes is the fact that he NEVER once said 'Why Me'. He understood things happen beyond our control. Nobody has a PERFECT life. He died 11 months after being diagnosed. Over 400 mourners came to his service. Thing is, he didn't want a sad farewell. So we honored him with a festive Dirge at the end of the service. He never let life get him down while he was alive. He certainly didn't want a sad pity party during his passing.
Sidney,
I Love you to pieces. Yeah It takes me awhile to call ya back but I ALWAYS do. In time. You have a good support team here at DS. So don't put us down by saying 'Nobody Cares' 'F' this and 'F' that. I understand pain. More than you'll ever know. Im young too. It gets on my last nerve to know that my body will never be the same. But I go. I Thank God Everyday of my Life. Because it is a gift. Now sweetie, you complain about being alone alot. Well....If you seem this angry online, I can only imagine how you would be in person.
I love you. Which is why I'm gonna give ya some tough love right now.
Sidney. Wipe the chip off your shoulder. It only pushes people away. Stop saying 'Why Me'. Hell, the majority of us here can ask that useless question.
I want you to dig deep within, find out where this deep rooted anger has come from and finally let it go. That is the only way you are gonna get better my love. You have to trust God. You talk about being a 'Revolutionary' like MLK. Well Cocoa Puff, do ya think Martin Luther King would have been such an Inspiration if he was down on himself all the time. Imagine if he keep saying 'I don't have anybody'! During the march on Washington! Imagine those who supported him encouraged him and loved him would have felt like? They would probably say 'What the heck do want from us'?
Sidney we ALL are here DS for a reason. We were searching for help, support and love. You have that here. Now you have to find it within.
and you need to start now, because at the rate you are going you are gonna wind up being a bitter, lonely old man full of hate without compassion, sympathy or empathy. I would HATE to see that happen. You have so much going for you and you don't even stop to look at what is yours and Thank God for it. The Grass isn't always Greener on the other side. You can travel the world as much as you want, marry the most beautiful woman on earth, make a gazillion dollar, but it wouldn't make you happy. Why? Because true Happiness lies within. You are like a Diamond in the Rough. It's time for you to dust off that dirt and let your spirit SHINE.
I love you, I'm here for you, I'm not a fake friend. I care deeply for you.
Just think about what I wrote OK.
I love ya oodles Snack-Cake.
It's time for you to Love Yourself.
Niecy.

Fuck is such a great word when you are really angry isn't it? I don't use it, never did, until I was in great emotional and physical pain and I used it then great word, expressed exectly how i felt> nobody who doesn't experiece 24/7 pain will begin to really understand how you feel and that is your lonliness Sweetheart, how can we truley undersatnd what we nevre experience? we can't, I love you, J

Niecy, that comment u wrote was awesome and deep. U have a good heart and thats such a wonderful thing! Big hugs! Rachel

Your soul is the most visible part of you here on Ds and you have a beautiful soul, I feel your suffering body, wish my love could heal you, I pray it touches you, love you, J