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stillalone 
Today, like everyday I struggle with my lonliness. For the past few nights I have been on topof the bridge close to where I live hoping to fall over or have the guts to jump. How do I ever explain how I feel. If I could only trust someone enough to tell them all my issues and help guide me in the right direction to heal then I would hold on to that. It's really hard trying to convince myself that I wish I had a partner in my life but with my issues how can I ever expect to have one. I feel that my friends are only limited when it comes to tell them anything because they really don't have any problems finding someone evn though with all of them it is usually a one night thing or friends with benefits as they like to say plus they are all straight. I am the only sap in the world left that wants or needs someone for the rest of my life to grow old with. I know it sounds so fairy tale, no pun intended. Is it asking too much? I am a very nice decent person and very loyal with a great sence of humor. Not without flaws but nothing serious or harmful to others. Oh well, I went on way too much. So this is just another day I try to put on a happy face and hang out with straight "friends" again. And another day I try to figure out why I am here.
