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stillalone 
I know I haven't had much chance to get online. My computer at home is broken so I have to use the one at the library. As far as my mental health is concerned, I still get quite depressed and am still very lonely. I have a guy interested in me but he is still attached to his boyfriend and I refuse to give in to his needs while he is involved. He gets very pushy and demanding but I don't and won't give in. I have mailed out suicide notes to various places , newspapers etc. and didn't give my name. I need to be able to get somebody to listen to my story. When I get to the last one to send I won't have a choice but to folow through with it. I figure all I want is to be loved and realize it will not happen, even with this guy I just mentioned who is interested and involved ,I can't see it happening.
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Hi everyone , it's been a long time, I still have no computer to use at home and am limited on usage time in the library so I haven't been here for a while. I am a little better than before . I have a partner now who relly seems to love me but my own fears keep him at arms length . Like everyone else I don't want to be hurt so I am being careful. He has some issues too so we have alot to work on. I still get depressed and feel suicidal, like last night but I was able to overcome that feeling this time. Anyway I just wanted to update and apologize for lack of response.
stillalone