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mistyj 
It is final- I don't know how to feel- I just wish I could have been spared all this wedding crap- I know now for SURE he is using her- she is very wealthy- It won't last- I know that- He told me the other night he never treated anyone like he treated me- so I am left to feel like it something defective about me. Maybe so. Called and made a couseling appointment- I have alot to work through- alot of damage was done- and there are alot of scars. I truly don't think I will ever love again- I think that part of me is dead. I will never believe a compliment because all I can hear is the terrible things Tom said about me and when you hear them so much- they become the truth. It is just so sad- I was so audacious before him- full of life- Once I move in two years maybe I will feel better.
Comments
If any one is defective, its him, I am glad you are getting some help but I think you have acted very normal to a very abnormal situation.
Wick
Wick is right. Tom's the defective one and you know it. You are entirely too hard on yourself and getting some counseling just might be the thing you need to get back to your old self. I know you can do this.
lovesuks