Well! A "DougHug". Thanks so much! …
Well! A "DougHug". Thanks so much! My son is twelve, and was officially diagnosed with P.D.D./N.O.S.; I think of it …
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mistyj 
First I want to apolgize for not being around lately- It is just so hard with all the hours I work. I thought that I was starting to get passed this divorce- thought i was ready to move on. I had a bad weekend- an emotional weekend. It started over something stupid- I was shopping and the store stated to carry these paper towels that had been dicontinued a while back-The were the paper towels I bought for my house, the one that HE lost, The one He sold out from under me-And I got sad-I poured so much of myself into that house- Into the dream of being a family-and he fought me on every turn. I made mistakes I know that- but I tried so hard. I worked so hard on being a good wife- and he was killing my spirit daily. I don't even think he knew he was doing it. I survive now- I don't live. I am thankful for the things I have- but everyday i am faced with stress about money- This was not the life I wanted- I wanted to be dressing up my kids for halloween, taking them to see Santa, going to baseball games and pre-school Christmas pagents, cooking dinner for my family sleeping in my husbands arms- not working twelve hours a day,eating frozen dinners, drinking myself to sleep, barely able to give Madison the things she needs- let alone the things other kids have.I can't get past what I lost-I don't understand why I almost had everything I ever dreamed of, then i lost it all. I beat myself up because I should have just accepted how he treated me and made the best out of a bad situation- instead i fell apart. I can't stop playing everything over in my head-how I messed up- I hate when I get in this mode- I can't even imagine him doing the things he did to me to his latest victim- does he make fun of her body, does he lay on the couch while she paints and moves furniture, does he never kiss her a expect her to accept- does he demean her sexually, and make her do intimate things that she does not want to do do.Why did I deserve to be treated this way. I don't think I will ever trust again, give myself again, or love myself agin- I thought I was past this.
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i'm having a bit of a relapse too. but, no matter what, you are a beautiful, wonderful, loving person who deserves to have her dreams come true. you do not deserve to be treated badly. beleive in yourself. you've gotten this far, and even though it may seem like you've taken a step back, you are still moving forward. hugs!!!
rnbaker
Misty - We've all heard this a thousand times, but I will say it again. Time heals all wounds and even though its been a while, those memories are still their and they still hurt at times. Its not easy because the memories never go away, they will always be there, but in time they won't hurt as much. He had it all but couldn't see how special you were, and its his loss! He may never regret what he did but you know what, some people are just blind, ignorant and too self centered to see what really matters. I still get sad sometimes regarding the loss of my first marriage. Not because I want to be with my X but because of the loss of my family. Another man gets to spend more time with my kids then I do. He got to watch them grow up and it should have been me. My life may not be what I want it to be, but I know i've grown from these experiences and I know you have too. You are still young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You have done so many great things on your own and that in itself is reason to be proud of what you have accomplished. Hang in there, it will get better! ;o)
lovesuks
I agree with the two woman before me! I know I was in a similar situation. My ex did not pay my bills the last two years of our marriage. My credit score tanked. It takes time to rebuild and time does heal all wounds! I know I am living proof. A year ago I was fearful and not looking forward to the future, now I wake up soo excited!
It will happen for you and someone deserving of you will come along and a happiness that you deserve will happen. Have faith girl!
Rose8