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cherylT 
Today started out rough . Some days my brain feels like scrambled eggs. This is one of those days.
I love some people on this board even tho I don't talk much. I'm more of an observer I guess due to BPD. I have some social anxiety issues and just don't feel comfortable posting some times.
But the strength some people on here is inspiring. People in much dire circumstances than me who still have a spark of life, a will to go forward. One of the topics today is about Higher Power and it seems most folks believe in a Higher Power. I do. I can't make it with out appealing to my Higher Power. I am nothing with out the blessing of a Higher Power.
I need to get ready to go to work. Must go mow lawns. I will come back and write more. Hopefully something more inspiring.
I'm feeling pretty good today. First time in a long time. I'm not dwelling on my past or wanting to go back to bed. Maybe I'm in an up phase of my bipolar bullshit. All the time mememe am I this am Ithat JEEZ i get tired of myself. But this illness forces me to pay attention to myself. A lot. I always have to keep myself in check. Like right now. How boring I am. I need a hobby.
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I don't know if I'm on the right drugs or not. I keep having bad dreams and I feel kind of edgy all day. I want to sleep during the day and at night. Sounds like I'm depressed I got to talk to my pdoc and see if I should be on something else.
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Sweet girl, it could just be you are taking the wrong doses---good idea to talk to the doc--tell him all you feel. They can fix it for you, it just takes time and experimentation. Love ya, Cheryl
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Sometimes I just feel adrift. What is my purpose here? It can't be just to learn about this cursed illness. I want to achieve some things in this life before I pass and I want to do good for others , also. I guess that sounds so corny but I can't stand myself when I've done bad. I don't mind what others do but i have a certain code to live by.Maybe that's why my life seems so hard to live at times. I don't know how to ease up on myself.
Past Entries
| July 2007 |
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Thursday, 7/19
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Monday, 7/16
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lol dont we all! i know what u are going through as my wifee has bipolar. keep ur head up friend.
PsHOrTy