Annablue's Journal

I have not written in here for ages . I guess cause the past couple of weeks I have hardly been online. lol  I had a wonderful time away in the Lake District. It was the first time I been away for the last five years.  It was just so lovely to be able to sit back and do what we all wanted to do. I read three books.  I thank the universe that even thought I have M.E. I can still read books or articles. So many ppl can not either concentrate enough or focus on the letters. I do use acetate to cover the page. I use green this helps the words from jumping all over. It helps with the  dyslexic part of me however i have also heard it helps ppl with M.E. too

The couple of weeks while my daughter and her husband were here gave me a rest from the thoughts of going to begin counselling. I did my best to shut my mind down from all the bad and enjoy what was happening now. Not always easy to do. However I am good at shutting out stuff til a trigger comes along and it all floods to the surface again.  I often wonder if it is because I shut out and burried all that has happened to me that is why I am ill so much. But then the question comes down to is M.E psychological. I fully believe no it is not. I know so many ppl have drs who will not believe that their M.E is organic this is the biggest scam there is within the Medical field I feel.  I might make my M.E worse by feeling down or not coping very well with it there fore causing my own stress, but that is all. In my case my M.E. has been caused by dipping sheep for years unprotected before they knew the solution was dangerous. Now this solution has been changed I think and farmers wear protected clothing.  My M.E will never be cured. Some ppl can recover fully. I have learnt to live with it. Some days better than others. I certainly am much better than I was a few years back when I was in and out of hospital and was spending 3 weeks out of 4 in bed. Now I can go out and do things yes ok I have to compensate for each thing i do by resting before and after but at least I can do them.  After my daughter and her husband went back home I was not so well for a few days but it was worth it as I have the memories within of the happy visit.