myhorse's Journal

 Hi Everyone, my name is Steve. I've been divorced for two years now, been apart for three.Like a lot of people here I got all the bills, worst vehicle which is broke. I would refinance the house and sell the broke vechicle, but I am paying off a chapter 13(long story). I live in the country with six horses that are not broke( she took three that were and gave them away, DUH!) I'm doing better finacially than three years ago. Between the bills I was left with, feeding 10 horses for a year and the lawyer, plus the divorce settlement, it was really rough for awhile. But it seems like the BIG GUY upstairs always comes thru just in time. I am very thankful for what I do have.

 I don't understand why she left. It is a lot of work here. What did she expect? That the hay would just magically put itself up in the barn? Or that the animals can feed themselves? Many times I felt like her friends and family came before us here. I thought marriage partners were first in each others life. She got to do a lot of things, a weekend here and there for us would not have been too much. I don't know, I think I have got  A LOT of anger towards her for leaving and not being here. I offered to go to a marriage counsler, sell this place and move, anything and everything, but she wanted out. It was funny and sad to hear about some of the places she has lived in since she left. Guess the grass is not always greener on the other side. I found some guy profiles in her side of the computer after she left. Maybe she had an affair. She said she did not but a lot of evidence says different. We were together for ten years. A month or so ago I went out with a friend and his family and his in-law. But I did not know how to talk to her.( this has happened with other women, too) So, I guess I'm having trouble getting back in the dating scene. Plus I tell myself, who would want somebody that can "barely"aford to feed themselves , a lot of work here, no "off weekends"(everyone still needs fed) I went to church for awhile, no help there. My friends say I should sell everyone. The horses are like family(better, least they are always here and lovaable), so they are not going. It will cost mucho bucks to get one or to to ride( yes, she got all the good tack,saddles included) I feel stupid when people ask me how much do I ride, I don't even have a saddle. I work all the overtime I can get just to make ends meet. And then sometimes it is the dog food diet. Least I've got that ,LOL. SO, I don't think it would be fair to get involved with someone, not to her anyway. Probably be great for me. I sure do miss the company and everything that goes with it(just not sex, either) I've got it better than many people. I just wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, or at least find which direction to turn to find it. God says to hang in there. Like I'm going anywhere. I would not go without all the animals anyway.Well, time to go do stuff. Three or fours hours a day is not much. Hope everyone has a great day. Ever heard that Rodney Atkins song about walking thru h***.good song.