lorna

Give lorna a hug

Give lorna a Hug

Hug

Prayer

Flowers

High Five

Good Luck

I'm With You

Celebration

Congrats

Kiss

Present

Get Well

Love

Peace

Sunshine

Superhero

Well Done

Thumbs Up

Shout Out

Gold Star

Rainbow

Sorry

Funny Face

Go For It

Miss You

Sympathy

Thanks

UR Welcome

Chocolate

See Ya Later

Chicken Soup

Your message of support:

Add lorna as a friend

• 

  Hug

  From SST October 8

  Don't know if it's true but it is funny!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
  
  
  
  Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
  
  
  
  
  Hi Sue,
  
  Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
  
  Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all
  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
  
  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
  So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature..
  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
  
  Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
  What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
  
  Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
  
  The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
  
  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
  
  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
  
  Needless to say I aborted the dive.. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
  
  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
  
  The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
  So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
  
  Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
  
  Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
  
  May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
  
  

• 

  Hug

  From SST September 17

  HEALTH TIP OF THE DAY:
  
  If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:
  
  My present and future financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of…
  
  
  
  Barack Obama
  
  
  
  
  Joe Biden
  
  
  
  
  Harry Reid
  
  
  
  Nancy Pelosi
  
  
  
  Tim Geithner
  
  
  
  Rahm Emmanuel
  
  
  
  Chris Dodd
  
  
  
  and Barney Frank!
  
  
  
  
  
  If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.
  
  There is no need to thank me for this advice; I'm just doing it as a public service.
  

• 

  Hug

  From SST September 9

  
  Importance of Walking
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ----- Walking can add minutes to your life.
  This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
  
  
  
  My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
  Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
  
  
  The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  
  I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
  Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
  
  
  I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
  
  
  I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  
  I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
  
  
  The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
  
  
  If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

• 

  Hug

  From SST September 4

  After a President has been in office for 6 months it is customary for
  the last President to send a note of congratulations to the new one.
  
  So yesterday when the note came from Bush to Obama, the President was somewhat troubled because it was written in code and all it said was: 370H-SSV-0773H
  
  This troubled him as he had always heard from his peers how former president Bush was perceived to have been scholarly challenged.
  
  So he took the note to his wife. She was unable to decipher it.
  
  They called in the VP, and he was unable to decode the message. They called in the chief of staff and the head of Secret Service detail and they were unable to determine the meaning of the note.
  
  Next he called in the head of the Senate and Speaker of the House.
  They both were mystified by the meaning of the coded message.
  
  Now there was complete panic in the oval office.
  
  They called all of their contacts in the media and sent copies of the
  note to all of them, and not one was able to come up with an answer.
  
  A special emergency meeting was called by the staff.
  
  All branches of the military, counter intelligence, CIA, FBI were
  called in, and the best minds were unable crack the code.
  
  After a sleepless night, a now humbled President picked up the phone and called the former president, and asked him the meaning of the note..
  
  Bush chuckled and replied:
  
  
  
  
  'Dude .............You're holding it upside down!'
  
  

• 

  Hug

  From SST August 31

  I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
  
  I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
  
  Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
  
  
  I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.
  I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.. And I eventually remember the important things.
  Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and
  compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
  
  
  I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
  
  
  
  As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
  
  So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).
  MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
  
  
  
  MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER! FRIENDS FOREVER!
  

Read Hugbook