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mrsfroggie 
9:41pm, May 18, 2009
Thank you all for your words of support and encouragement! I need them right now more than ever. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t have any urges; I didn’t plan on playing, and all I know is all of a sudden I was sitting in front of a machine in total shock…
I know I belong here, now more than ever. I know my statement earlier was pretty silly. I guess it was the shock talking. I’m just so damn mad at myself! I was doing so good, getting things caught up and enjoying my gamble free life, then I go and blow it! I know I can’t play, I know that is just the way it is, I can’t play, but some how I ended up doing it.
Well, I don’t think I’ve devastated my finances as bad as I thought last night, but any hit little or big hurts. I just have to face the music and deal with it. I’m going to give it to God and ask him for his forgiveness and his guidance and move on. I’m not going to dwell on this and drive myself crazy. I will remember this so I can learn from it.
Like you said Eastwater, where else do I belong right now, but here!
Thank you all for you love!
Patty
Comments
HI PATTY, YOU SOUND SO MUCH BETTER TODAY. MIKE IS RIGHT, YOU DO BELONG HERE, SO DO THE REST OF US. I HAVE A FEELING WE WILL ALL BE HERE FOR A LONG TIME. I THINK RECOVERY IS A ON GOING PROCESS THAT WE WILL BE DOING THE REST OF OUR LIVES. I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER GROUP OF PEOPLE TO BE IN RECOVERY WITH.
HUGS STEPH
Steph55
Please don't take this as criticism or a lecture.........but I've noticed........you seem to have, once again, proven what we hear here over and over again......WE ARE POWERLESS OVER GAMBLING......once I start, I cannot, will not, do not, stop........ Once I place that first bet, I'm lost........ I cannot gamble like other people do......
My disease, my addiction, my life.....all are UNMANAGEABLE. I cannot control gambling in any form or any amount. I have one defence, only one, nothing else seems to work......"Just for today, I will not gamble."
So thanks Patty for checking it out for me....... I can assume, that since you found out that you still cannot gamble successfully....... that the same rule applies to me also. Just for today, I'll choose to stay away from the bet.......... and stay here instead, where I belong, and deserve to be.
eastwester
I don't know how many nights I looked up, counted my money...and was shocked to see how much I had fed to the machines...it is like my rational mind just went somewhere else...the addiction was in the driver's seat...which is why!I am so glad to be here with people who understand.
No way, no how, no gambling...because I cannot and will not ever be able to do it with control. So once again for me...just for today, I will not gamble!
Xoxoxo.
DianneE