LP66's Journal

Calories:

NF Latte: 130

LC Santa Fe Rice & Beans: 300

4 Organic Cookies: 240

NF Latte: 130

Chips & Salsa: 300 

Grilled Shrimp & Veggies: 800 

Total: 1900

21 Days until Thanksgiving. I want to be the cutest at the family functions and I want to be able to indulge a little and not feel guilty about it. I have been procrastinating, making excuses and pretty much justifying all my bad health behavior. So here's my plan, pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again. Nothing fancy, just hard work and discipline.

A few things I need to correct on a daily basis:

Drinking Water: 64-81oz

Taking Vitamins: Iron, Multi, Fish Oil, Emergen-C

Counting Calories: 1600 max

Workout:

Run and Rotating Stairs: 30-60min, 3x/week

On a personal note: Things have pretty hectic at home. Oscar our kitty has been sick and we had an emergency vet visit Tuesday morning. He's getting better every day and will be fine, but it stressed me out so much. I know it brought out a lot of the fear and sadness with Nora. I just got so scared and started thinking the worst and OMG it was overwhelming. Oscar is my baby now and the thought of him feeling bad/being in any pain is awful. Top that off with the dark places I now go (in my head) and the thought of losing him is unbearable, not sure if I would be able to handle that. And to make matters worse I weaned myself off the Zoloft last month and I am suffering withdrawl. I feel like a total basketcase and I'm mildly dizzy all the time. 

I have been thinking about Nora so much these days. We put her ashes under my side of the bed because I wanted her close to me always, not just on a shelf. She and her memory box are th only things under there. And Oscar's favorite place to sleep is not only under the bed, but right next to her ashes. I wonder if he knows? I think it is so sweet and it breaks my heart a little too.

My frenemy's baby shower is next weekend and I have not been able to buy a present. I'm starting to really regret saying I would go. I looked at her registry online last week and couldn't do it. I think I'll ask DH to get the pressie and then maybe I'll go for 30min, drop off gift, eat a snack, muster up a "congrats" and leave. God, just thinking about it is making me panic. 

I believe getting back on track with health and exercise will help me deal with these issues and feel more balanced. If not then it's back to the Zoloft and feeling numb all the time.