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About Me
bluefairy
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About Me
I am a mother of 2. I have been blue since my period started. I would like to start playing guitar and maybe go to school eventually. It seems like I just can NEVER get the motivation to actually do it. I really just want to be normal, whatever that is. I want to treat my kids right, give them and myself more attention. I just want life to get better. I feel like I am sucking my children into this horrible exsistance. I have been a server for my whole adult career, 14 years. Not so proud of it.
I am a mother of 2. I have been blue since my period started. I would like to start playing guitar and maybe go to school eventually. It seems like I just can NEVER get the motivation to actually do it. I really just want to be normal, whatever that is. I want to treat my kids right, give them and myself more attention. I just want life to get better. I feel like I am sucking my children into this horrible exsistance. I have been a server for my whole adult career, 14 years. Not so proud of it.
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Hugbook
Hug
hope this finds you well
Hug
Flower
bluefairy, there is no normal. however, that doesn't mean we can't feel better. here's to you playing the guitar again and me getting back to drawing.
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I’m With You
thank you, i get that way sometimes, i can't help it, and this time it was really bad but i've been worse. I just needed someone to say that they cared about me. and by responding you did, thank you so much. if you need me i'm here for you too
Hug
ure welcome friend stay strong and have an awesome sunday!
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Anger Management
I go from 0 to 60. I pretty much fight (not physically) with anyone who gives me any trouble. I say what I am feeling, and it is never pleasant when I am angered. I call names, screem, go on rants. I do this to strangers, co-workers, employers(I just got fired/quit when I told them what I really think of them) I am the last straw kind of person. And when I've reached my last straw I act like a crazy person, like everybody is against me, and I need to protect myself, whatever is being threatened
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have been depressed for forever now it seems. Although right when I didn't think it could get worse, it did. Because of my anger, paranoia, and low self esteem I have no job. My babies father whom I'm still with at the moment has lupus, and I feel that I am way to weak to help him, because I feel like I need help. Yet, he knows I have depression and acts like I can HELP my disease, where as he can't help his. I have 2 kids that I feel I can barely support, especially emotionally.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- did not work, I quit, because of my isolation, i want help, but i dont want to be exposed, plus she was like 22 or less.
- Wellbutrin Somewhat Helpful
- taking it to supposidly stop smoking, hasnt worked that well
- Writing Working / Worked
- used to work, but feel too empty to write anymore, wrote like 10 years ago, or more.
Open Bipolar Disorder
I always kind of suspected I had this, but I just found out 8/22/8 that it is true. I kind of still doubt it though, is that a symptom :)? Anyways, I don't think I like it, being on a anti-psychotic pill, am I psychotic? What the #^$*&^%&# I have rage, then I'm really exciting, then I'm depressed, then I'm nice, who am I, and why do I feel like I am everything and nothing at all?
Treatments
- Wellbutrin Working / Worked
- ok at first maybe with zyprexa
- Zyprexa Working / Worked
- haven't taken it yet
