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Lewi 
I haven't written for a while as I've been bsusy. Not gigging all the time but there always seem like there are lots of things to do. I was good fora while there but good to me is being controlled. incontrol of my eating and then last Friday is got out of control. I don't really know at the end of the day what I am gaining from this. I even managed to make myself sick. I ended up with cystysis I think from the change in my diet. I've not had anything to drink for the last few days which is good. I find it difficult the first day but after that it's cool. I'm always an either or person. On or off. God it's exhausting. My partner always has a few glasses fo wine but it's not an issue for him. So it can be hard when he sits down with it but it's good to have days off so aiming to do that every week. So re food I was controlled till Friday and then bang because I was poorly that was it an excuse to let go. I guess actually it was good for me. I stopped eating the foods that were harming me. My eating was out of balance but that's nothing new. I don't know what balance is. Just eat some food and not others always some control thing going on. I must remember to keep breathing. Still haven't ordered that book I was advised to read but will do when I can afford it. My finances this month are a worry. It'll get better from September. Doing a dinner for some friends tonight. I actually enjoy feeding people but it's so hard at the same time. I like the giving, the preparing, but if folk only knew the chaos that I can go through with food at times they wouldn't understand it. Still haven't really had the chance to investigate this site properly. It will come.
