This week I am finally allowing …
This week I am finally allowing myself to know how exhausted I am. I feel that it is less a physical tiredness, …
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hopeisalive 
7:48am, October 1, 2009
I want to apologize for not being around much. I have just came in done what I hadd to do and left and not been much support for anyone and I am sorry. I am tired of pain. I have laid in my bed numerous time asking the Lord just to take me own home. He must not want me yet cause here I still set and in pain.
I apologize for those who feel I took them for granted . I ended up in a wheel chair over the broke foot. I was just to weak for the crutches and the walker. Then being in the wheel chair hurt the fibro because I did not use my muscles and my back got stiff and hurting bad when I walked. I got to finally go over the ct resulst with my doctor and he feels it is time to go back to the surgeon. I don't want more surgery. I am over 20 of them now. They are going to start me doing water exercises soon though. The pain doctor told me I may have to face the fact that the only thing that can be done is putting me on enough narcotics to make me comfortable. What is comfortable? Will I ever be pain free again? I want to be able to play with my future grandkids. I want to continue to teach and work for my God. I am so believing in my healing but for what ever reason it has not come yet.
I am sorry if I have let any of you down. I do apologize. I love you all and I thank you for your support and I will try to be back on here to support all of you from now on. Love you all
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Please know that I (and I am assuming most everyone else, although I can speak for anyone else) have not thought about the fact taht you haven't been on here or not felt supported or whatever.........You are doing the best you can with your circumstances and being Christian does not mean that you take your feelings (especially negative) and run with them. You talk about things, pray, and fix things............It is Jesus-Others-You AND I do not see why anyone would think you were doing anything negative purposely. Please know that you are in my prayers and I am deeply grateful for this group and my prayer partners.
GOD bless everyone
jkthaley
The best you can do for everyone is to take the best care of yourself. That is the biggest gift for all. I am sending you a lot of good thoughts and encouragement. I also deal with pain and meditation is sometimes very helpful. Blessings.
VivianM
No need to apologize for not being here. I wish there was something I could do to help us all feel better. I just had a surgery on my toe due to arthritic pain, I hope it helps. My only fear is I will need more surgery on my feet, because I have arithric feet which makes it impossible to wear shoes and I feel like no one understands. Enough about me. I don't blame u for not wanting more surgeries. Maybe the water exercises will help. I hate to hear you are in so much pain, But I do understand where u coming from. I will keep u in my prayers.
tbabie
hay hon,you need not worry,You just do what you need to do to take care of yourself,We're here for you! But I'am glad you told us what has been going on with you! Don't ever give up hope! No one thought lii of you most of us understand rhat sometimes we have to do what we have to do!So don't you be worried about us we just want you to take care of your self! I'll pray that you have God by your side to see you through all that you are dealing with! Hang in there ! Love Nanny
Nannygoat1
STOP WORRY, START TO PRAY TO GOD AND YOU WILL SEE THE WORRY WILL DISAPPEAR.
DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. YOU ARE WONDERFUL GODLY WOMAN I KNOW WHO CARES ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO PRAY FOR US . BLESS YOUR HEART. DO WHAT YOU CAN DO.
PLEASE, PLEASE TRY NOT TO TALK A NEGATIVE ANY MORE IT IS NOT FROM GOD . YOU ARE SO SWEET AND CARING WOMAN WHO LOVE TO SERVE FOR GOD'S GLORY. MY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR HUBBY. TAKE CARE. LOVE YOU, LUCI
PS. I LOVE YOUR AVATAR . YOU LOOK NICE ON THE PICTURE. NOW I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND SISTER IN CHRIST.
Germaine08
Hang in there sweetie. God IS in control and He will take care of it all. I think youre a very special person & thank for all you do. Dont worry just concentrate on getting better. Know that you are in all of our prayers!
Your sister in Christ
ChristinaLynn
The GOD who takes a summer storm and ends it with a rainbow, who lights the very darkest iight with silver stars above. The GOD who, with a tiny seed, can form a perfect rosebud, is our GOD, AND THE ONE WHO HeALS OUR SORROW WITH LOVE.
dede
I think you are a very caring, loving person. I wouldn't be so hard on yourself, okay? You have to take good care of yourself. I totally understand being in pain and it can be very difficult to deal with much less feel like reaching out to others at times that is difficult too....I have never felt like you weren't there for me or for your friends. It is a big responsibility to take care of yourself when you don't feel well and I understand that we all do the best we can...many of us if not most of us here are dealing with our own health challenges and do what we can for others when we can....and when we can't....others understand...and if they don't understand then clearly they need to re-think things....we are only human. God bless you and I truly hope you can find relief from your pain somehow...keep asking lots of questions of your doctors till you get answers..I too have had lots of surgeries...many more than 20 I am sure.....I have lost count of how many...and in August I have to have another one. I don't like the thought of another surgery but know that it must be done and having experienced them I do know what to expect....so there is some comfort in that....I hope you can reach a peace within yourself about your upcoming surgery....God is watching over you even when you don't see any evidence or feel it...He is ever near....peace be still and know that I am God.
BlueButterfly55
Gina: Colleen and I are praying for the reduction of your pain, and we pray the The Lord sets upon you His Healing Hand. You know that Colleen and I love you and yours in Christ! Always, Wally and Colleen
wallyw44