angiedarling's Journal

today i rolled out of bed with this horrible tightening in my chest id like to release that here. I am a strong sucessful woman. I am loved. There is love out there for me. I am special. I am uniqued and i am safe. I love my beautiful body. I am smart. I retain information well. I am an A plus test taker. I am truely amazing. I have a great attitude. I am safe in this world. all life loves and supports me. i am naturally happy. Im having some craziness in my thoughts lately. Im nervous to see david at his graduation.. im wondering if its such a big deal that im keeping it a suprise. I wonder if he will even care that im there bc how many others will be there for him to occupy his attention?..no he loves me and will be so happy i am there to support him. I will be acknowledged and embraced for the wonderful friend i am. I am special to david. David is special to me. I am happy with my life. I have wonderful beautiful friends. I enjoy life as it is. The days i work are the best days. I am full of joy and life. I am safe here in the moment. I love me. Life is good. second thing is feeling out the idea to be a fire fighter. I am driven toward the profession i feel that is strange for a girl like me to be driven toward. I want to ask my guy friends who have done the forest service for advice and questions im hesitant at there responses. I forgive you tyler for putting me down and doubting my skills and an emt and firefighter, i forgive you and set you free. I like the idea of being a forest fire fighter. I love the forest and hiking and doing physical duties. Camping and hanging out with friends couldnt be better right? fighting fire for the greater good. I love and approve of myself and all my thoughts. I am safe in my positive thinking. Third thing... Jason i want to be friends. I am feeling us as friends. I feel we would be better friends than if we jumped into a relationship.. We have a wonderful friendship head of us all these activites i would like to keep it a friendly relationship without sexual tension, bc id like to focus on the spiritual side of nature. I am safe in my thinking. I love an dapprove of myself. i am really excited for the mine this weekend. I am so anxious for davids graduation.I wish it came first. should i tell him im excited to see him?> or that im coming? I keep thinking about the good parts of our relationship and then later remember where it went wrong and that makes me sad. i wish it could have been diffrent. I wish he was good to me. I wish we were still like the first month we were dating. Id be crazy to want him back. I would be and i know it. its a beautiful day i am happy here goes nothing.