Journal

We'll miss you Kelly

kelly i will miss you so much i love you girl be safe and angles are with you always..big hugs `Nikki`

Kelly I will miss you. thank you for all your support and help. I hope you will return when you are able to DS again. Good luck with your daughter. I will say my prayers for you.
Big hug and good bye for now.

Janette............ :-)

Dear Kelly, I will miss you so much more than words ever can say.
Thank you for all your wonderful support ,all your prayers and especially
for your very special friendship.You did an awesome Job as Admin in our group Dont Give Up.I will miss you so much Kelly. I wish you only the BEST because you deserve it and so much more.You will always be in my heart, thoughts and prayers.Sending best wishes to you and your family. I hope that one day you will be able to come back to DS. God bless you! Today ,tomorrow, always! Lots of Love,Maria

good luck with you house and your daughter!
Chacy

I will miss you kelly your the best xoxo

I will miss you so much Kelly. You are a wonderful friend! Love you so much. Hugs, Teresa

You know I'll miss you. Take care of yourself and keep being so nice, because you are helpful and you make the world a better place. love,eros

Oh see I am always last to find things out.. I hope it will work out for the best and that you can be back with us sooo very soon .. I was wondering what had happend to you.. but then I have a hard time to make my way around... sorry.. Love you and my Prayers will always be with you ... miss you .. Simone..

kelly i understand what you are going through as i have been a stepdaughter to my mom's hubby. she ended up staying with him as i could not stand him and neither can anyone left on my mom's side of the family. i left home at age 17, but i graduated. we dont have a relationship like a mother/daughter should. i'll help you in any way i can my opinion is he needs anger management. my hubby acts the same way but the kids we have are ours together. hang in there and keep in touch love and hugs barb ps my leg is not as painful tonight as it has been so thanks for asking.

Kelly you do all you can and it sounds like then some. Remember you have a life here also and you are important to. Take care of yourself to. You have grown children and you can only do so much for them the rest is their destiny in life.
Life is short maybe you and your husband can get away for awhile together to get alittle r & r ? You deserve it.

I have a 19 year old who has put us thru hell and the minute he was done his sister (who is now 17 and a half and no longer lives here)started in. It is so hard and it WEARS on your soul. Try to take care of yourself-yoga and Buddihst philosophy has really helped me. I feel guilty and second guess myself all the time, but when I see someone else do it-like you, I realize how futile it is. There is only so much we can do for these kids who are bound and determined to DO WHAT THEY WANT. You are only one person, be kind to yourelf. I hate to see your marraige suffer so much. Your daughter will be gone in three years and then what? Is ther any chnace that your husband has valid points, but is putting you on the defensive?That kind of stuff can really be helped in therapy. Getting you two on the same page is probably the most important thing right now.

Wow Kelly. Your home situation is SO similar to mine it is scary. The only difference is that I left my husband nearly 5 years ago. It wasn't and still isn't easy, as we have a 5yo son together and he, like your daughter, wants his mum and dad to be together too. But where do you draw the line when there is another child, YOUR child and not your husband's biological child, is concerned? It's really hard, I know. I have a 14yo with ODD and Conduct Disorder, so I know ALL about having an angry household, believe me. Made all the worse by living with a husband who, as you said in this journal, will 'never be good enough for him' and well, who HAS caused a LOT of strife, trouble and angst in the household, who DOES get into a lot of arguments, blues and situations that 'normal' kids don't. My husband, dare I say it, HATES Nick (my 14yo) and speak OF him and TO him abominably. He bags Nick every chance he gets, both to me and anybody who will listen really, so it is very VERY hurtful both to Nick AND to me, as Nick's mother. I understand you completely when you say that you can't just kick your daughter out, that you are her mum and you will do whatever it takes to help her in whatever way/s you can. Yes it is tiring at times. Sometimes, I get sick and tired of all the yelling, screaming and downright fighting (verbal only) in my household, even WITH my husband gone for so long. My son still has his problems, whether WITH my stbx or just living with me and my youngest son. Sometimes I wish I could just run away and dream of a peaceful life, a life where everybody wasn't just so damn 'high needs' and one where everybody respected each other and their rights withIN the household, let alone outside of it too .. but with that nowhere in sight right now, I have to just keep on keeping on, letting Nick know I love him, doing everything I can to help him (getting him regular counselling sessions with a clinical psychologist, to name one) and well, trying to provide a home for him where he knows he is wanted and loved .. a safe 'haven' for him, while also trying to lay down boundaries about his behaviour with me and little Sam (my 5yo). Chacy is right when he/she said that there is only so much you can do for these kids though .. I agree that therapy is a very REAL, HELPFUL medium for you and your family right now. It's still hard, as no matter what you discuss in there, it has to be 'WALKED THROUGH' not just 'talked through' .. and that's always the hard part hey, where the bitumen really meets the road so to speak .. SO .. I pray that things pan out for you guys .. ALL of you. Also, I hate to say this, it's very cliche .. but the grass ISN'T always greener on the other side. I have found that the problems I had with stbx's anger about things, situations and my son in general .. didn't go away when I left. I still had to deal with him whenever he picked up Sam, rang up about him, etc and whenever something went wrong with Sam, Nick was and IS always blamed .. and most of the time, it IS Nick's fault, dare I say that. He is a lot of trouble most of the time .. and that didn't stop when stbx moved out either. So .. it's a big decision whichever way you go. I pray that you will make the right decision for you and your whole family. You are such a strong woman and once again, I agree with Chacy .. be kind to yourself.

Hi Kelly!
It can be really frustrating for the bipolar person experimenting with different meds, not to mention also for their loved ones...I should know! I have not found my perfect mix either, although things are a little better than they were.
I hope these new meds will be the right ones for your daughter's so they can start feeling good again.

hugs,
Dona

You have alot on your shoulders. Bipolar is a awful thing for the person with it and everyone who loves them. I am sorry hun that God has given you this to handle he must have a reason I always want to believe that. Maybe the doctors can get her bipolar under control. Others live with it and do ok. There is hope.
and we are here if you ever need to talk.
hugs..........

I am definatly praying for your girls!!! You are such a great Mom!!!!!I know how difficult it is with Bi-Polar. Cory is Bi-Polar as well. He's also ADHD. My friends daughter is ADHD and she has her on this medicine that is doing wonders for her. I have no idea what it is though. Stay strong or continue to stay strong and positive!!

Lots of love back to you! Jen

sorry 2 hear that hope things get better for you ((PRAYERS N HUGS))

I'm so sorry I haven't responded to this earlier, I will send prayers and hugs for strength your way, my friend!