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bugged 
6:29pm, October 10, 2009
Just trying to get things out of my mind - just a general sense of uneasiness, like something is there, not knowing what it is but definitely affecting how I feel. I'm tired, stressed, just unsure about so much right now.
As hard as you try to think positively about everything - there is those little nagging doubts of what the hell is going to happen next. Just struggling day to day to have ends meet. Tired of having no money, tired of working, tired of all the responsibility that just gets dumped on you.
Work is stressful - you go in day after day - get further behind, more stressed and seemingly the harder you work the less you get done. I'm not the only one in that boat are whole office feels the same - no matter what we say - there's nothing that seemingly can be done. Just more and more is expected of you and it's just frustrating. I need my job - so you just keep doing what you can do.
The car isn't working great - there's something wrong with it - took it to the garage - and they said that everything is okay - starting to feel a little crazy - it's not my imagination.
Having no money gets to you after a while as well - there's nothing extra - Christmas is coming - and well - that's a whole new ball game isn't it. I will do my best. What can you do.
I just feel invisible some days - no one really sees me - I'm there a shell - easy to approach when they need something or want something from me - but otherwise invisible. The person who never rocks the boat - the person that never says no - the person who is just there.
It's just a feeling - a feeling that the bottom is going to drop out again - when does that ever go away - or does it - you just keep putting one foot ahead of the other and perhaps some day progress has been made.
