bugged's Journal

It's Monday!  Another new week, another beginning, lol - One thing i've learned that there is always another beginning.

I'm off work today, I had two weeks of holidays that had to be used up before the end of the year or I would lose them.  I am just taking a few long weekends between now and Christmas.  I can't afford to go away and just having a long weekend is nice. 

The kids were both up and off to work this am - my daughter works till 3:30 and I let her have the car because I don't even feel like going out.  The pain is back in my lower back and left leg again - arghhhhhh it is just irritating as hell.

I still have lots of cleaning to do - I've seemed to have lost all motivation in that regards. 

Feeling okay about things, about my life - and often realize that my fear is usually not as scary as I anticipate it to be. 

I have a short work week and next weekend I have booked the Monday off.  I'm off after work on Friday with my mom.  Her friend someone she has known since she was 5 has invited my Mom, my sister and I down to her place for the weekend.  Her kids are coming over Saturday to see us - it's been a long time - we used to all play together when we were little, lol.

On Sunday we are off to the Niagara Casino - we have tickets for a show - and then coming home Monday.  Of course there will be shopping and things to do - I think she's also booked us to go on a wine tour.  It will be fun - always have fun with my mom and sister, lol.

I think that's it for now - may add more in a bit.

I'm back, lol.

My lower back and leg are causing me grief today - it's just an annoyance really, and painful while I do certain moves.  

I finally accomplished some of my list today - the livingroom is clean, bathroom, kitchen - cleaned the floors, vacuumed and dusted -I should tackle my bedroom - but no real desire to do so.   Just made a pot of tea and having an apple - my favourite  - honey crisp - very tasty,  crisp - just something good about apples this time of the year.

Live in apple country - so they are readily available.

Have a meeting to go to tonight - pulled out a steak from the freezer - thought I'd make fajitas but no fajita seasoning - i do have taco seasoning - so I think I'll use that instead.  I don't think the kids will mind.  They don't seem to mind anything if they don't have to cook for themselves. 

I have a craving for bread pudding - how strange is that, lol   Last night for supper made a double apple crisp - so my daughter is very happy - it is her favourite besides my mom's apple pie! 

I have to say I think I am getting better, lol - I certainly don't think about Kevin all the time now.  In fact I can go several days without thinking about him at all.  It has been over two weeks since he has been in touch with the kids - not sure what that is all about -but it is not my place anymore to intercede - I don't tell the kids to call him.   They are old enough to make their own relationship with him.

I am truly getting there - feeling better about myself each day - getting things in control again and just generally feeling a sense of peace.  It has been a long and difficult road, I'm not foolish enough to think it is over by any means - but it is getting there.   Indifference is creeping in....