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trying2keepsmiling 
Im writing this while the thoughts are fresh in my mind or i will forget in like 5 seconds! and i didn't wanna forget how im feeling write now. im making a promise to myself to change my life, mind, spirit amd daly actions i dont know how =0) but i know i have to and i want nothing more to be me again. this FM thing wasn't realy REAL till very recently ive been suffering but wasnt diagonosed till recently, then i went to another dr.(my gastro) who said i want to get a second oppinion because the reumy that diagnosed me lit. said ur blood came back fine. so i said ok then whats wrong w/me he goes u prob have fibro gave me a script for muscle relaxers and never talked to him again. i was liek OK NOW WHAT when i told my gastro in passing he flipped out and said go see a friend of mine another reumy who my mother also saw yrs ago. so being sooooo sick of being passed around i went there hopeful that he could help me i faxed all my blood work n notes befor i went, i sat down he looked at me n said w/out examining me said " hello nice to meet u, u def have fibro but i dont treat it" well i just burst out crying. i feel like i have the plaige or something no one wants to help me. he turned out to be VERY NICE FUNNY he said oh no stop crying, why do all fybro patients cry in my office" ! well he examined me n said i have it chronocaly (i guess a part of me didn't belive that i had it) n usualy he sends his pts to pain management but because i was so nice n he liked me n i was so young he said he's treat me. he did'nt want me to go to pain management n just live w/it. he said something to me that i can't get out of my head, THIS WON'T KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T LET IT,
you have to live. u wake up in pain ifu give in to it it will get you. no one saying its not real but you can cintrol it. if u chose to let it disable u it will. " he said i have to get back to work asap and get my life back. he's had it for 25 yrs. mildly. he gets up everyday evcercies and takes celebrex.
He gave me lycria and celebrex which im not taking yet because im on xanax wich i depend on and he doesn't know about the interactions. so i have to find out. he said exercise is a must. relaxation ( wich i am incapable of im always stressed out) he suggested yoga and meditation. so im writing this down so i make myself do these things on the days that i wake up n just wanna crwal back in bed n sleep the day away w/out even trying to overcome, wich lately has been often. my therpist also says mind over matterat first i got insulted n thought he n everyone else was saying it was all in my head(well some drs n people think that) but what he n the people that know n care about me mean, is that i let stress n my emotions effect me physicaly which i never belived untill now. i always say im STRESSED OUT BECAUSE IM SICK,they would say ur just stressed n emotional!
well im glad i got this out there n i want to START LIVING
