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startingover76 
8:50pm, October 7, 2008
Well, I had to make the decision to stay up all night last night and all day today so I could fall asleep with Mike tonight. I have been staying up until he goes to work or shortly before. But WHEN I finally get diagnosed, treated, whatever is going to make me stop fainting, I will have to be up at 4 am, not going to bed then. I really can't wait to drive, work, make MONEY, and have a life again. I hate to lose my independance, and I hate the way this condition makes me feel...I'm always dizzy, and seeing stars when I get up, then I get nautious and have a migraine for the rest of the day. Today, amazingly enough, I haven't thought about the mounting bills, or my inability to pay them, or gaining weight. Maybe no sleep is a good thing. I have just been chilling with the cats, watching movies. I did put on a cute out fit, and did my hair and make up. We are not going anywhere tonight. It's raining, but, I think it's good for me...and him too, just to know that I am trying. I am so lucky to have found such a wonderful man. He may be a little TOO concerned about me. I think he may have his mind set that I may never work again. My mind is set that as soon as I get a release, I'm going back to work, doing everything I can to step back up to my old job, and getting a second job also until then. We were both used to being able to spend like crazy until we moved into together. We had to move in the middle of our two jobs, and both of us have at least a 45 minute commute, and our apartment is really pricey, but he wanted a safe place. We were hoping to save for a house after a year here. Doesn't look like that will happen, but we know it will someday.
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Become me again
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Good luck stay postive. I'm happy to see that you have found a wonderful man. Take each and every day as it comes. We just moved closer to make family. I just posted some pictures of my grandkids. they are the joy of my life. Everyone is have a hard time right now. Enjoy what you have big or small. I'm doing ok just tired so I'm off to bed. Big Hugs and love Suzanne
ssuba
Good luck stay postive. I'm happy to see that you have found a wonderful man. Take each and every day as it comes. We just moved closer to make family. I just posted some pictures of my grandkids. they are the joy of my life. Everyone is have a hard time right now. Enjoy what you have big or small. I'm doing ok just tired so I'm off to bed. Big Hugs and love Suzanne
ssuba