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LanaG 
12:06am, July 27, 2009
Alicia's best friend got married...just saw it on facebook. She never invited me nor even told me. My life has just plain stopped and the rest of the world goes on. I am always left behind now. The tears just won't end. Why can't i?
Comments
Lana, I am so sorry that this has happened and hurt you so much. Maybe she thought if she invited you, it would hurt you to go to it. Others just don't understand why we still need to be included and not left behind. My heart is with you...Hugs, Kim
KimRW
I am sure she just didn't know what to do. I am not mad or anything...but it hurts so bad knowing Alicia will never get married or have a life anymore...all because some stupid kid couldn't follow the "rules" and his parents didn't make him follow the rules. Just SO stupid.
LanaG
I agree with Kim. Maybe she thought it would be to painful for you to come to the wedding. They just don't understand that we must try to go on with our life the best that we can. Sometimes it take awhile and sometimes we go on but are just in a haze with our life. I hope you feel better soon...Hugs, Connie
ConH
I was invited to Joeys best friends wedding and I couldnt bear to go..they almost didnt invite me, but i swear if they hadnt I honestly wouldnt have minded...its too painful...sending you all the love in the world
mari3333
No, I couldn't have gone...but would have liked to have known. you know?? just hurts so much to be left behind...
LanaG
Sorry. I don't hear of events either. I think they have a fear of hurting us or ppl don't know what to say to us. I know how you feel Joey's College girlfriend is on Facebook with you new boyfriend. I realized that I'm better off not knowing. Our children are with us always & that's what counts. I do know how you feel. To many feelings to put into works. Hugs & Love U
joeymom
Lana, you have every reason to feel as you do. I feel forgotten as well. They could have invited you and you would have had the opportunity to send her a gift. I am sure that would have meant something to you. I don't understand people sometimes.
I'm very sorry this happened to you,
With love,
Susannah
Soosanah
IT IS VERY SAD,SHE COULD JUST CALL YOU TO LET YOU KNOW AND SAY IT WAS JUST FAMILY,I AM REALLY DISGUSTED THAT THIS DAYS THERE IS NO COURTESY OR SINCERE LOVE, I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE TO SHARE YOUR SADNESS AND HUG YOU,LOVE LUCY..
JOYHOLY
Sending you an extra big hug. I'm so very sorry your feelings were so hurt. There are so many things that hurt us so badly that other people just cannot understand. In reality, we wouldn't really want them to be able to understand because that would mean that they had gone through what we have and we wouldn't wish that on our worst enemy. Sending you big hugs and lots of love...Lynn
l8gra
My sweet friend! I know what this is like,...she was not trying to hurt you, I don't believe. She knew what you would feel inside that it should be your daughter's wedding, or that Alicia should be in her wedding, and it would hurt you even more. I don't want to believe that anyone could be that thoughtless and heartless to hurt you this way on purpose,...I think she may have been trying to protect you from even more hurt. I know how you must feel,...similar things happened to me as well. The young man who calls me "Mom" wanted me to dance the "mother/son" dance with him. Jamie knew about it before he died,...so after he did,--I was so ill that day (emotions?)----I just could NOT do it! Love you, Sweet lady! Tight hugs, and God Bless! Judy
JudyWI
Lana,
I agree that she should have at least told you and invited you seeing that she was Alicia's best friend at the time of her death. I'm SO sick & tired of people avoiding us. No wonder we can't fully grieve! Do people not know that we are smart enough NOT to spoil their big day, but that WE will never experience that and it is in good taste to send the invite and let us decline. It's just so frustrating always having to worry what the people who haven't lost a child's feelings. What about ours????
prayersplease
thank you all so much! I was so hurt watching the rest of the world go on and leave me and alicia behind. I know she probably just didn't know what to do. Oh well...behind me now I guess. Love you all!
LanaG
Sometimes it just really sucks!!!! That is the one thing that always amazed me is that life did/does go on & as much as I was/am hurting the whole world did stop just because me life did. I know it hurts & I think there must have been a better way to find out...Hugs, Ann
annsullivan
What hurts is that she and Alicia were just like sisters...and not to be at least told or considered....as a courtesy to alicia. And then to have the fact that the rest of the world just goes on like nothing has happened....i feel so left behind...by everyone. and I have been.
LanaG
Sorry to read how things have turned out. I feel others just don't know how to deal with bereavement and other's grief and therefore just end up ignoring the grieving. Thinking of you.
pneylan
The fact of the matter is that we are left behind. I have lost track of the amount of times that people have told me that it is time to get over it. So I just grieve alone. We cannot really expect the "others" to understand nor expect them to put their lives in our mode. They go on, Lana, as they should. We need to accept that they do not share the grief as a mother does. I pray that you find the acceptance that while your life was shattered by Alicia's death, others were not. Thus, we find peace. Hugs, Belinda
BinkyH
Ouch. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Mine would be too, if Nic's friends would not invite me to their wedding. I'm sure she thought is would be painful for you, but that's not an excuse to not at least even give you a call and tell you that she was getting married. Wow, I think the death of a child is just so big that it makes everyone just not know what to do. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you. I think you should give her a call and talk to her. It might make you feel better. Love, Julia
JulsMarie
Lana, My Sweet Friend, Maybe she was afraid it would be too painful for you. People often hurt us the most by leaving us behind, and leaving us out of their lives. We know their lives go on, and we are glad for them. We can even be happy for them. But they can only think that you would be seeing your Baby Girl and that it would hurt you too much. They do not understand that it reafirms to us that the world still turns, and life does go on for people. it does not go on the same for us, but we do know that the rest of the world moves on. I am so sorry , I am sure you at least should have gotten an invitation and been able to choose for yourself if you could handle it or not. It is just ignorance about grief though, it is not meanness. I am sure she though it would hurt you too much. She is young and doesnot understand the kind of grief we have had. Maybe someone else will read this and think that next time maybe they should send us an invitation and let us decide if we can handle it or not. I am sorry Love Peggy
grndmudder
Oh, I am so sorry for your pain. Peaceful wishes, Ginger
gkg21