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LanaG 
12:06am, July 27, 2009
Alicia, how can you be dead?
I cannot comprehend it!
My heart hurts more than you can imagine
More than you will ever know!
Alicia, how can you be dead?
I look at your picture
And I see you there
I see your smile
Your joy in life
I want you back in Colorado
Enjoying your friends
Enjoying your life
Alicia, how could you be dead?
What does that mean?
I cannot comprehend it!
How can you be dead?
How is that possible?
You were so robbed
You had so much to live for
How can you be dead?
I miss you SO much
You were everything to me
You were my light
You were my everything!
Alicia, how could you be dead?
I simply do not understand
How can you be dead?
Comments
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that must be like, to lose a daughter. I would go out to the mountains and yell those words you wrote in your poem. There is something to be said for keening--- it is not part of our culture anymore. We're supposed to be quiet and dignified and accepting and get over grief quickly. I hope you find something to sustain you.
SanctuaryBuilder
Lana, you have just been to the place of her passing for the first time...you are raw and hurting...we understand your pain and wish you peace.
Ann
AnnM
There are no words I can say to help you with this pain you are going through right now. Just know that I am with you in prayer, holding your heart in my heart and hugging you tight...love and hugs...Lynn
l8gra
I lost my daughter 22 years ago and know it to be one of the worst times anybody can ever go through. I will not say it will get easier as time goes by without saying this, deal with it in your own way even though a lot of people will try to help you deal with this terrible loss by relating stories and assuring you everything will be alright. Right now all that was good is wrong and all that you need is a hug! So,my friend, here is my internet hug. Peace to you!
truck6411
Your letter to your daughter moved me to tears. I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. Thank you for sharing your letter with us. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
maresg90
My heart is hurting for you. Hugs and prayers and God's grace will get you through.
6kidzmom
Dear LanaG, I'm here for you and so is the Lord , I don't know if you Believe in God but he will see you threw this if you just ask you shall recieve , no it won't be easy but bearable, the loss of a loved one is uncomparable I believe to anything on earth, I have one child and can't imagine the pain you are experiencing from the loss of Alicia , God Be With You, for she is with God, you must have time to grieve for things here will never be the same , but life can go on just at a different pace , I know you see no future for yourself but there is one if you seek it and by talking to God you can obtain what is meant for you from him.... I hope I have helped in some way, May Peace and Comfort Be Stored Upon You in time of need !!!!!!! BlueEyed
BlueEyed
Lana,your letter is so honest. I agree with Sanctuary Builder who wrote about keening,I think you should feel all of these feelings and let them out in anyway you can, as Ann said you have just returned from perhaps the hardest (second hardest) trip of your life of going back in time to the place where Alicia died. It is going to rip your heart wide open and the wound is raw. Like you wrote before,it is like a debreding of the wound, rather than a festering now it has been cleaned out but it hurts so much and it is so raw. I am with you in prayer and in my heart. I know God hears your cries. Hugs,Kate
katemc
A day full of rain
provoking strong emotions
separating souls
Filling music of cistern
water knows not boundaries
Betsy
May 7, 2003
Ysteban
i know lana , iam at the same point right now all over again , my heart is so broken , how can they be gone , he was just here , my son sent me a photo of me and aaron , hes walking me down the aisle bsfore his dad got married , so handsome in his tux , why , this war has taken so much from us , my heart and love are with u and alicia , nothing in this life will ever be the same , i cannot wait to cross over , much love +pat
4grandkids
I have been there, I lost a daughter two years ago. I had to keep thinking that she was with God, and in my heart. Only her body was gone, not her...she is always with me, as your daughter is with you. I wish I could say the pain will go away, it does not. There will be days that are OK, then ones that you are in a hole.
I will pray for you, just hang on to the fact, she was just a shell, her heart and soul are with you always.
grasshopper2
I understand every word that you wrote.I have said those exact same words everyday since December. I wish both of us could find the answers we need?!! My heart aches for you. Please be safe and find peace. Love Billye
SkittlezMoM
My daughter died at 19 four years ago. I understand your words and the pain behind them. It is good for you to write- you are gifted with this and it will help as you adjust to loss of your daughter. It is horrible to be experiencing this. I know.
Keep writing-
Mississippi
I have felt the same way so much these past years. I just cannot wrap my mind around my 2 sons being dead, and now my beautiful step duughter. I don't think as moms we will ever really "get"it. It is just too big and too painful to comprehend. I have no children, but I am still a Mom. That just does not make sense to me, and I know it never will for you or me. Love,Peg
grndmudder
Lana I hear you. though we know we still cannot accept the unacceptable. Sending you love and support. love and hugs Cathy
RockstarsMom