Journal

just wondering does anyone know how to close an account, I dont see an option anywhere

update......Im on new meds and feel freakin fantastic.  working my ass off on my house until I basically pass out from exaustion which is awesome,  im building a mexican stlye bar in the basement and making friends gifts. I will be helping out more at the restaraunt downtown hosting and fixing the place up. After making some gifts for the place the owner was impressed and asked me to do other things, im a sneaky devil that way.

    So far I have cleaned the tile in bathrooms there scrubbing for hours and whata ya know its brown not black.  I installed new wiring and sconce lights and then painted his hall and two baths the other day. I will be painting the rest of the dining room this week as well as other things, A result of being generous has resulted in some gift exchanges, he is giving me a stainless steel commercial sink and a wine cooler for my bar.

I am feeling so good Im considering calling my old painting boss and telling him im ready to return to work after two years plus of  being out of work and stuck inside.

heres how all of this went down, I was so frustrated with my legs from cold feet which was getting worse and worse and it would go all the way up my legs and i could not warm them up for hours meanwhile my back would be on fire and I had to crank the ac to 68 at times .

I went back to the doc and told him I was concerned about the legs and wanted to search for the exact cause and rule out general bloodflow problems, so he ordered an ultrasound of my legs and a lumbar mri which I had not had since 95..... the ultrasound was normal and yikes that was cold and its been a while since a gal put her hands near that erm region so a bit of an eye opener.

I then had the mri at a great local place which is run as a small buisiness and you wont believe it but it was only $300 .   hmmm what do you know erm gee a business helping out , oh those evil people from india using capatalism to have a succesful business and whats this being kind and generous how terrible of them. would someone tell M.M. to shove his movies where the sun dont shine.  sorry im rambling....anywho the mri revealed two additional bulging discs that I did not know about for a total of three and the original is now shrunken dried up and that segment is diseased.  I got the result in a few days as they read them in house and I was also taken right in in two days. I recomended them for the msaa mri program.

well before I had the mri I had started pristiq and then we discussed gapapentin I started

 taking that and once I got up to 900 mg a day I have been 100 bagillion percent better and my legs hardly bother me at all, I can even tolerate higher temps better and now My body does not react to using my muscles and beat me up for it, I was up near 200lbs and now am about 185 and cant gain weight to save my life because im burning so much working on the house.

I should have pushed the doc sooner for the gabapentin but even with all my contacts in group i did not know it would help this much, I have to be careful with the back but its not stopping me from what I need to do, My sister is not well and I have to find a way to keep this shtihole of a house so I can be near her and hopefully she wont kill herself or something.

I was so close to filing for disability and I hate the idea, it should be a last resort, someone else is paying for it and that should be respected. Im sick and tired of seeing so many give in so fast and say im getting disability I cant work no more.... really then explain how jim lubin who is a c2 quadropalegic and runs the TMA website by sipping and puffing on a tube tied to a computer an d typing.....and he cant breath without a respirator.   This person reminded me that disabled is a stupid term and we should thinnk of ourselves as alternatively abled.

well I have been up all night and cant see strait so i need to catch a few zzzzzz and get back to work.  see ya.

  " If you cant be normal be spectacular" .....  Cody Unser

I am deleting my ds as soon as it can be done, many of you have meant the world to me past and present, I will never forget your generosity in helping me fundraise for ms and all the fun we had in doing so.

I would rather not discuss reasons for leaving, if you did not recieve a message on how to keep in contact with me please let me know.

I would like to say special thanks to some but Im afraid of leaving someone out, so I wont do that, those of you who were close to me know who you are.

I wish everyone the best and hope that you all continue to recieve the support you deserve.  Many of you have been quite the inspiration to me.

I like to think that what we do alters everyones future in some way big or small, I can only hope that I altered yours in a positive way and that you do not regret our having met. many of us only know each other because of this website and like me found it by accident. In the time ive had an account here I have seen the good and bad in people but mostly good.

 I never thought i would have to keep up so many inside jokes or that a hugawar would be so much fun and that I would be such a ham for the camera. I mean good god I kissed a pillow for a donation and pressed adverts on my long johns.  what was I thinking?

I even experienced love here and I know many of you have too.

I have learned that I do not express my feelings very well and keep most of them locked up, I wait far too long to take action and tell people how I feel about them, I want you to know that I think my friends here are wonderful, kind, and generous. 

I knew eventually this day would come and it is for the best.

I wish you all that same feeling that I continually seek, to be safe, warm and content.

your friend    Dave Johnson