Join Now
anglefire 
HEllO everyone.
New here and its late in the evening. Just moved and in a state of mind I don't quite understand. Too much imput coming from all sides. I am excited to be here and then my husband is just ambilivant to everything and every one. He is very narsasistic and its really beging to wear me out.
Comments
Staying up late. My husband is out babysitting some college baseball players. I have not had much time to myslef in six years. I look in the mirror and I don't even know this person. I am fat and my skin is lose and horrible. Growing old is hard when you realize you wasted your life crying over being date raped, your brothers murder, a bad first marriage and a horrible second marriage. The good part is the glass is half full and I hope to recover. But right now I see how my son's are affected by my life and its hard to watch they fumble. They are all grown up and as usual not listening to me. I had hoped they would atleast listen to my failures and not be so bent on being the BIG GROWN UPS who do not take anything I say with some thought. GOSH its hard. I realize I am so depressed I did not know it. I had an MRI today I am in such a fog my dr.has to rule out tumors. Is that not a shame or what. I wish I had a man in my life who was not abusive, who loved me and we had a lot in common. My husband now is so self centered. I saw a old commic in this book of have today of the ole New Yorker magizine. The comic was a man relaxing with his feet up on a broken down baniste on a broken down pourch around a old shack. The man had tattered cloting on and had a old straw hat with a stalk of hay coming out of his mouth. He was watching two very nicely dressed women on the ground trying to change a tire on their car. Thats my husbands idea of happiness. That is not my idea of happiness.
That is why I am depressed right now
good night
anglefire