Journal

To say that I am bitter is an understatement. I don't let it get to me though. The fact is, if I dwell on everything I haven't been able to do, things I love to do, for the past 3 years, I would be a very depressed person. Sure it gets to me sometimes, but I can't let it control me. I'm in control of my cancer, it doesn't control me. What hurts the most is going to school everyday and seeing kids who are seemingly carefree and take for granted their health and the ability to play sports and exercise. That's my boiling point. I miss sports so much, that I have trouble watching my own friends play at their games (especially soccer, my passion) and occasionally tear up.

    I just have to believe that someday everything will be better, and I will be able to do the things I love once more. Not have to worry about when my next treatment is, or if my oxygen is too low. Though with two relapses, it's hard to believe things will get better. Almost like a dream that will never become reality... Life is tough. I just wish I didn't have to learn that this way.

I know. I complain a little. But I'm tired of lying to everyone about my disease, and how I feel. People just never want to talk about the way they feel. 

 One more thing, I think stem cell research is the key to finding a cure for cancer. So thank goodness California funds its own research. That's all.